After and Again
by Amanda Lord
Summary: After everything in six years of being a Slayer Buffy is ready to accept life. Then Whistler comes to tell her some hard truths. Buffy finds herself in a world that is very familiar. AU -(Something a little different)
1. Meeting Whistler Is Never Good

After and Again  
  
By Amanda Lord  
  
They're all Joss's. Lah-Lah. I own nothing. Trah-Lah. Just playing.  
  
Summary: Buffy died, really died after season one. However Buffy has six years of memories. The PTB have decided that she has passed her tests and now she is to return to the familiar faces that have lived with out her for all those years.  
  
a/n: There isn't really anything to say at this point. A story for those who want a post Grave story that is a little different. PS - I was out of the country for the finales, I have never seen them. I'm just going on the episode guides that I've read.  
  
I like reviews. I know how this story is going to go, but if you have any input, I like that.  
  
Buffy Summers breathed as she pulled her blankets up to her chin.  
  
It was early evening, but she was too tired to stay awake any longer. It had been a long time since she had been able to find sleep.  
  
Her heart hurt.  
  
She allowed the images of the past two days to enter her head. The pain was all to fresh. She could see everything.   
  
Spike's insistence and desperation. Tara's body that no longer housed her soul. A hurricane that looked a lot like Willow. A world around her broken.  
  
Buffy snuggled into the pillow. It hurt so much.  
  
However she had promised Dawn and herself that she would live. She would deal.  
  
Tomorrow she would awaken to find a pile of problems. Willow would need so much in the next few days. And Dawn, Dawn would need her everyday.  
  
She would never put aside Dawn again.  
  
She was ready to do what she needed to do. She had found strength in herself.  
  
These people around her were part of her whole. Xander, Willow, Giles, Dawn…  
  
…Spike.  
  
The one thing that she couldn't understand. Willow's destruction was simple compared to the agony that Spike had left her in.  
  
Tears began to form under her eyelids.  
  
Part of her hated him. She hated him for everything that he had done. He had let her come to him. He had known that all of the love was on his part. Then he had attempted to force her.   
  
The other part of her missed him. Despite all that had occurred she missed his friendship in the moments that were her darkest. Her mother's death, the chance of loosing Dawn, when she was lost and came back. He had always been there when she felt there was nothing more that she had.   
  
When she was walking around the streets of Sunnydale, wanted for murder, without a watcher, and worried that Willow would die in the hospital bed, he had been there. He had offered his assistance.  
  
Buffy turned on her side and curled up. She didn't want to think about that anymore. She closed her eyes.  
  
She was ready to sleep. Tomorrow all of her problems wouldn't overwhelm her. They would be conquered with the help of her family.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
"Hey Blondie."  
  
Buffy whipped around the empty waiting room to see him. The mystical reprehensive of the higher powers. The little twit who had never learned how to dress.  
  
"Great am I going to have to sacrifice someone else."  
  
The little man sat in one of the chairs and angled his head.  
  
"No. I'm not always here to tell people bad news."  
  
Buffy raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Nope. I am here to tell you that none of that actually never happened."  
  
Buffy looked at him skeptically, "That sounds happy."  
  
"You don't understand, but you will. Right now I am here to tell you that you are about to live again."  
  
Buffy looked at him as if he had two heads, "I don't know if you got the memo, but you are a year late."  
  
Whistler looked at her with the smirk of someone who had expected such an answer, a remarkably wrong answer.  
  
Buffy suddenly got completely frustrated. She lunged at Whistler.  
  
"What. Are. You. Talking. About."  
  
Whistler looked at Buffy's knee in his crotch and her hands at his throat.  
  
"Kinky girl, but even though I am not alive I would like to have some air in my lungs to talk with."  
  
Buffy eased up and let him breathe a bit.  
  
"Talk," she growled. There was just something about him that hit her wrong, "And do it fast."  
  
"You died and I am here to ask you to go back."  
  
"I already did that. Spent the last year dealing."  
  
"No you didn't."  
  
"Yes I did," Buffy replied incredulously.  
  
"No you…" Whistler trailed off as she applied more pressure.  
  
"We are not in forth grade, details, I want details."  
  
Whistler smiled, "You died five years ago. "  
  
Buffy backed away, "The master…NO…Xander saved me."  
  
Whistler shook his head, but said nothing.  
  
Buffy recoiled from him.  
  
"Little Slayer, Santa doesn't exist and neither does your life."  
  
"Another cosmic joke?" Buffy said wide eyed, "My life is just a dream. All the pain and agony…"  
  
Whistler shook his head, "Don't play me that game baby. I've heard it enough from your mouth. You whined how you were just a pawn in the greater plan. You've gotten over this. You want to live again."  
  
"Yes, but…"  
  
"No," Whistler said cutting off her speech, "Don't backtrack now."  
  
Buffy lifted her head. She somehow found strength in herself that she didn't know she had found. She had been told too many times that things weren't as they seemed that she could handle this one more.  
  
"Why?" she demanded.  
  
Whistler smiled, "That is the girl. Because you killed the master. Because there is a trouble brewing in Sunnydale that only you can face. They need you. They're all different, but they need you. The ones you have come to care about. The ones that have never forgotten you. They need you."  
  
"So I have to go save the world again."  
  
Whistler shrugged, "You've only saved the world the once, if you want to fight about it. Then you had the tests. You've faced the worst monsters we could throw at you. You've overcome all the demons we've sent after you. You've beaten a god. You've overcome yourself. Now you are ready."  
  
"Ready for what?" Buffy said growing tired of his cryptic ness.  
  
"You're ready to live again."  
  
"Any more helpful advice."  
  
"Just there is a problem. We need you to take care of a problem and a Slayer."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "Do you enjoy this?"  
  
Whistler smiled, "Very much."  
  
Buffy put her hands to her aching temples.  
  
"Can you tell me anything concrete?" she asked desperately.  
  
Whistler tilted his head, "We need you to take care of Spike." 


	2. Blonde Hair on a Monday Night

Blonde Hair on a Monday Night  
  
a/n: All I ask is for a little bit of trust. You can't just jump into everything.   
Oh yeah, I'm sorry but I'm going to surgically tear myself away from my computer until Sunday Don't give up on me. This is going to rock your world. (or at least entertain you)  
  
PS Laure Alexander I would like to thank you for a review so quickly. It made me feel happy and good about myself. (Sorry no more self aggrandizing. We will go back to what you came here for.)  
Wait - And Dark Willow. Yes you are the first (on b/s central. I give you more cookies than you can stand. Peanut butter or Chocolate chip (I'm sorry I hate Oatmeal)  
  
*****************************************************  
  
Buffy opened her eyes. She was at the Bronze.  
  
Somehow she knew it was Monday. She had fallen asleep on Monday at five pm. The Bronze was always dead on Mondays.  
  
"Look there," Whistler said behind her softly.  
  
Buffy looked over at the table and it didn't seem too different. Willow sat smiling she was telling a joke. Xander was attempting to add to the joke for their audience. They looked to be overselling a joke, but it made Buffy smile.  
  
Buffy looked at their audience. It was a small girl with shiny hair.  
  
"Dawn," Buffy gasps.  
  
Buffy turned back to Whistler with wide eyes, "Dawn is alive here?"  
  
Whistler snickered at her, "Girl your last few years were all for a purpose. Do you think anything that happened isn't going to be somehow in this life."  
  
"So she is the key here too?" Buffy asked breathless. Dawn was her sister, no matter the weirdness between them they were family. Buffy was shocked that she couldn't imagine living without any of them, especially Dawn.  
  
Whistler shook his head.  
  
Buffy studied him huffily, "Once again I'm not going to assume you are going to tell me what she is in this world."  
  
"Things are different. I'm not one to tell."  
  
"I thought so."  
  
Buffy said that blankly she looked down at the table. They looked different. They had survived.  
  
"Doesn't look like I did anything to better their lives," she said blankly.  
  
Whistler shrugged, "Maybe. Maybe not. You'll find out. However I'm going to go now. I'll be around."  
  
"I suppose you don't have a beeper number."  
  
Whistler gave her one last smile, "What fun would that be."  
  
He disappeared. Buffy looked down again. She thought about the proper manners for announcing that she was alive again. Her previous attempts didn't really give her any kind of idea of how to announce her arrival. These people barely knew her.  
  
So she just watched them.  
  
The three of them seemed to be happy.  
  
Thoughts swirled around her head. She had so many questions. She wanted to know about Tara, Anya, Cordelia, and Oz. Then her thoughts went to Angel, Riley and Spike.   
  
She shook her head. She tried to tell herself that she didn't want to know where they were.  
  
Then she just let herself watch her friends. They seemed so light. She smiled. Willow didn't seem to be weighed down by darkness. Xander didn't seem to feel uncomfortable in his own skin. Only Dawn held the same worry.  
  
Buffy almost felt like crying.  
  
Then she saw something that she didn't think that she would ever see. She saw Xander lead Willow out onto the dance floor. Xander pulled her onto the dance floor. He looked down at her completely in adoration. She held him close and smiled. The two of them moved in a comfortable motion.  
  
*If I hadn't been there…*  
  
Buffy shook her head she couldn't allow herself to start comparisons, they would never stop.  
  
For a moment she remembered being up here with Spike. She realized that she now was the one that watched from the shadows. She shook her head.  
  
She watched the two of them. She was amazed by how sure and happy the two of them were. They were caught up in each other.  
  
She decided now would be the time to sneak to meet Dawn, or whatever the protocol was. She was close to the table where Dawn sat when Dawn suddenly got up and went outside. Buffy wanted to yell at Dawn for going out on her own, but something stopped her. She followed discretely.  
  
Dawn went out to the alley.  
  
In the alley there was a woman chomping on a man who had assumed that his date was an easy girl who would do unspeakable things in the alley way. Buffy almost wanted the priggish guy to get eaten once she realized who he was.  
  
*Of course one of the first people who I run into is Parker*  
  
Buffy looked up at the sky. She rolled her eyes at the sense of humor of the Powers. *They just never stop being quirky*  
  
The vampire was shocked at the arrival of Dawn. Buffy was about to intervene when she saw Dawn begin to hold her own. Parker ran away like a scared bunny as Dawn and the vamp began to exchange blows.  
  
*More than hold her own.* Buffy thought *Dawn was kicking the vampire's undead…*  
  
A figure emerged from the shadows and knocked Dawn on the side of the head. Dawn went flying and went down, and didn't get up.  
  
Buffy refused to have any of that. She emerged from the shadows and instantly staked the girl.  
  
"Hey," the black clad guy turned around, "That was my childe."  
  
He was very familiar. His hair was bleached. The attire was all red and black. She didn't feel fear or anger. She was just intrigued.  
  
Buffy smiled, "Oops."  
  
She suddenly felt elation as blue eyes met hers. It wasn't the eyes of the vampire who had been beaten down and pushed around for so long. It was the eyes she had met in the alleyway before Parent-Teacher Night.  
  
He lunged for her. She met his attack. The fight was one between enemies. It was one between equals.  
  
It was an odd fight. He didn't fight like the Spike that she knew. However she had learned some pretty good moves from him. It was different, but it still wasn't fighting.  
  
*It was like dancing.*  
  
After fifteen minutes the police came. The pair slammed into the alleyway. Buffy had a stake to his heart he held her neck. It was a stalemate, neither wanted to admit it.  
  
She saw him smile and it made her toes tingle. His lips were curved in a sexy side smile. His head was cocked.  
  
Buffy vibrated with adrenaline. It had never been like this before. She wasn't afraid of him and he didn't want anything from her. They stood toe to toe.  
  
"Do you know who I am lil' girl," he whispered head cocked.  
  
*That's right always with the flirting when he's going in for a kill.*  
  
Buffy looked up at him with wide innocent green eyes. She never let her stance falter, but she attempted to be a simple damsel.  
  
"Spike?" she guessed in a little girl voice, "Scourge of Europe, Slayer of Slayers," her voice had become sing song.   
  
The Spike who was in charge was gone. Buffy felt giddy. For once in her life, or whatever it was called she could almost grasp the upper hand on Spike. She knew him better than he knew himself and she could catch him off guard.  
  
Her grin was 200 watts, "Sired by Drusilla, Childe of Angelus, Childe of Darla, Childe of the Master."  
  
He never faltered. Every detail that she gave seemed to make him look at her with more respect.  
  
"Lil' Girl's done her homework. It doesn't matter though. I'm going to enjoy killing you." He smiled and let his fangs appear, they were a terrible mix with the plain human face. Buffy knew that this trick took more control than most vamps had, most vamps including the Spike she knew.  
  
Buffy shrugged not letting him effect her, "Well this conversation is lovely, but I must go." Buffy said. Taking herself away from the sheer proximity of him made her body feel less than alive.   
  
Two steps away Buffy turned back to Spike she looked up at him. She momentarily missed the sheer love that shone from his eyes, blues that watched her and soaked her in.   
  
And suddenly she knew what to do. She knew Spike lived by emotions and the image that he was the Big Bad. She suddenly knew how to shake him.  
  
She looked at him straight in the eye, "If I hear that one person was harmed in Sunnydale tonight…"  
  
"You'll stake me, blah blah," Spike said rolling his eyes.  
  
Buffy shook her head, "No, I'll stake her and make you watch…William."  
  
That got his attention.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked stepping forward.  
  
"Why do you want to know?" she smirked.  
  
He licked his lips and let the cocky smile return but it wasn't as confident as before, "'cause I'm going to hurt you bad. I'd like to know."  
  
Buffy cracked her neck showing off the veins that he couldn't touch. She taunted him.   
  
She knew the words, the Powers had already given them to her.  
  
"You'll find out on Saturday."  
  
He smirked, "What is Saturday."  
  
"I kill you on Saturday."  
  
Then Buffy slipped into the shadow. 


	3. After We First Met

A/N: This was supposed to be longer. However since you guys were so nice in your reviews. This is the first part of the next section. It isn't really that interesting, just kind of a bridge. However soon I will have the second part in which the plot is made more clear. (So this is a teaser. I will get the next part out soon.  
  
Buffy walked the streets of Sunnydale. She was still buzzing from her encounter with Spike. Being able to throw him off, even for a moment was something that she had rarely been able to do. It made her giddy. Slowly the realization that she was walking around aimlessly struck her. She looked around in the ever-growing night.  
  
It was different. First there weren't that many people out. Second the town looked.beaten, for lack of a better word. Buffy began to stop her high and she began to look at this world that Whistler had put her in. I didn't feel like the world she encountered when she had climbed out of her grave, which was a relief. Yet there were strong iron doors in front of every business and even the Seven-Eleven was closed.  
  
Then it struck Buffy what it was. The sleepy little Hellmouth had become cynical.  
  
Buffy shuddered. She had to find everybody.  
  
She walked back to the Bronze, but it was closed.  
  
Odd she thought its only ten.  
  
She did a loop. Willow's house was deserted; the house on Revello Drive had kids bikes in the driveway. It wasn't the same home still. Buffy didn't know where to go. She didn't want to try Xander's house. That was in a bad neighborhood and she didn't want to risk it.  
  
"So what to do?" she asked her self. She contemplated going to the cemetery, but she wanted to get her bearings first, "Okay think Buffy."  
  
Her inner self was not answering.  
  
"Great, I'm all alone in a strange world. I left Dawn and I didn't kill Spike. I'm bombing this return."  
  
She wondered around a little more looking for an open store that maybe would have a phone book, but everything was closed.  
  
"This is not going very well," she informed herself angrily, "I need help. Why can't I think? There has to be some way of finding them. I'm just not good at this. I need Willow, I need help I am talking to myself on a deserted road. Where is Giles when I need him."  
  
She stopped walking. After a second she turned around and ran. She ran to the place that held her last hope.  
  
"Come on Giles be there," she muttered as she ran the final block.  
  
The little house was dark, but Buffy held her breath, hoping that somehow.  
  
Peaking in a window she could see the outlines of books and familiar furniture.  
  
Buffy held her breath; she really didn't have any other place to go.  
  
After a complete search of the doors and windows, Buffy realized that she would have to attempt vandalism.  
  
I'm sorry Giles she apologized as she broke a pane of glass.  
  
Once in the house she began to second-guess her assumption. She tiptoed to the bookcase. She let out a breath she didn't know that she was holding. There was no copy of any Shakespeare or Moby Dick. Only copies of Ancient Prophecies and Theories of the Occult.  
  
"Thank you Giles for being so weird."  
  
She looked around the room. There was a cup of tea that was almost warm.  
  
"Sherlock Buffy is on the case. Giles still lives here and he was here recently," she announced triumphantly, "Now to wait for Giles to return and everything will be okay."  
  
Buffy stretched and happily lay on the couch. She was tired and she fell right to sleep.  
  
  
  
"No one kills tonight," Spike growled, "Be.discrete."  
  
The minions looked at each other. They didn't know why he have this order, but they knew that with the mood that he was in they would be wise not to challenge him.  
  
Spike turned away from the room of people and went into the other room where Dalton sat.  
  
"You better have good news for me, I'm sick of this bloody town." Spike said to him, "The slayer is weak, but the little twit is plotting against me, him and his chanting fools. I want to leave as soon as possible."  
  
Dalton looked up hesitantly, "I still am having problems with the translation."  
  
Spike's face changed and he lashed out at the nearest object. A chair splintered and crashed into a million pieces.  
  
"Bloody fucking hell, we're vampires who decided we needed wooden chairs. Some stupid."  
  
"The coachman has lost the reins," Drusilla said coming next to him.  
  
She put her head on his leather duster.  
  
"The horses are running wild. Nothing is going to be the same."  
  
The vein in Spike's jaw began to jump. Once again she felt the situation. This time it didn't help.  
  
"Dru, honey, I think Miss Edith is lonely why don't you play. Then I will be able to make you better and we can go somewhere else."  
  
"I miss Prague."  
  
"Dru you nearly died in Prague. We'll go to New Orleans. You like it there."  
  
Spike took her chin in between his fingers and attempted to smile down at her.  
  
She gave him a little girl smile. Then she began to look around his head. Slowly a whine came out of her mouth.  
  
"She dances around your head. The thorn who made the horses run."  
  
Spike looked down at his dark princess and wanted to scream, "What do you see Dru?"  
  
"You love your princess best right?"  
  
"Always Dru, always," he said attempting to comfort her.  
  
She smiled again, but this time there was doubt in her eyes. 


	4. Welcome Back Buffy

A/N I love and adore Seth Green, but Oz is about a foot taller in this story.  
  
Mountain William: Dallas? I'm twenty-two, my parents didn't let me watch anything but PBS until I was eleven; I've never seen Dallas. But you know what they say; "There's nothing new under the sun." (That is said in the jokey voice. I'm just kidding around, well telling the truth, but joking around.  
  
Oh, I guess this took a lot shorter time than I thought. One hour between updates. I RULE! Well they're short, but I hope you guys don't mind.  
  
  
  
Buffy awoke hearing keys in the door. She sat up straight and looked as three figures entered the door.  
  
They stopped and immediately Buffy felt very out of place.  
  
Giles stepped forward grabbing a crossbow. He stepped in front of the other two figures. Buffy briefly caught a glimpse of them before Giles blocked her view. Oz held a shaking Dawn in his arms. As Giles stepped forward Oz held Dawn closer in the crook of his neck and turned his shoulder. For a brief second Buffy met the eyes of the very alarmed Dawn. Their eyes met and something passed between them.  
  
"Buffy?" Giles asked hesitantly lowering the crossbow. His eyes widened.  
  
Buffy smiled, "Hi Giles."  
  
Giles shook his head and raised the crossbow again, "No Buffy died."  
  
"Giles I let myself in, not a vampire."  
  
"She could be a demon," Oz said quietly from behind him.  
  
Giles nodded, "There are many demons that can take the form of humans."  
  
"Shape-shifter?"  
  
"Hello," Buffy said interrupting their conversation, "In the room here."  
  
She could feel their eyes on her. She was lost. She didn't know how she could prove to them that she wasn't a demon.  
  
"Wait," a weak voice said.  
  
Dawn pushed Oz away and stood by Giles' shoulder.  
  
"Who are you," Dawn asked looking at her.  
  
Buffy looked into the blue eyes of the girl she so recently called sister, "I'm Buffy Anne Summers. I've been sent to help."  
  
"And why should we believe you," Giles said smoothly and menacingly, "It's a good attempt. The girl who meant so much and gave her life. I don't believe it."  
  
Buffy understood that Giles didn't want to believe it until he was sure that it was true.  
  
"Giles I don't understand this as much as you do, but please."  
  
Buffy didn't know how to beg him. She didn't know how to prove that she was actually Buffy, she also was caught by wanting to prove herself to Dawn. Those blue eyes seemed to be begging her for something.  
  
Buffy just stared at the end of the arrow, framed by Giles' face. Oz's eyes had taken on some of the wildness. He was ready to pounce if she did anything. His hand lay relaxed on Dawn's forearm, but he was ready to pull her back if need be.  
  
"Giles is there anyway to prove that I'm Buffy?" Buffy asked softly.  
  
Giles shook his head, "Buffy is dead."  
  
With that Dawn's eyes realized something that she was looking for.  
  
"You died for me," the wide eyes began to tear.  
  
She shook her head, "I've had the slayer dreams about her. She always takes care of me. She died for me."  
  
Buffy nodded her head and opened her arms, "Dawnie."  
  
Dawn stepped forward, but Oz held her still. A growl started in the back of his throat.  
  
"Giles, Oz," Dawn commanded. She shook off Oz's hand, "I believe her.  
  
"Dawn, are you sure?" Giles asked.  
  
Dawn nodded and stepped forward, "Welcome back Buffy."  
  
Buffy gave Dawn a huge smile, and Dawn fainted. 


	5. While You Were Sleeping

A/N: I want to thank everybody who reviewed this story. It is wonderful to know A. People are reading this and B. you like it, you really like it. I've decided to make this a lot of short stories instead of really long ones. That way you get more updates. I hope that is okay.  
  
Spooked: I'm sorry it's taken so long but here is the reeling (aka - we get an idea of what Buffy is doing here, be warned this has plot)  
  
  
  
Buffy rushed forward, but Oz reached her first. Dawn crumpled and Oz lifted her to the couch. He laid her down.  
  
Buffy looked wildly to Giles, the one who always held the answers to her problems, "Giles what is going on?"  
  
Giles looked at Buffy, at the same time they both realized that he was still holding the crossbow. Giles looked at the crossbow and shrugged.  
  
"Can't be any worse than things now," he muttered and threw the crossbow down. He looked back at Buffy with a look that said 'if Dawn is sure, then I will allow you in my home, but I'm still unsure.'  
  
"Giles please," Buffy said coming closer to him, "I've spent the last five years thinking that I was alive. I have all these memories. I just saw you hours ago. You were my Watcher who never let me fail. Dawn was just a kind of normal girl. She was healthy. Everything looked so good. Now things are just falling apart and I need you to tell me what is going on."  
  
Giles gave her a steady glance, "It's been so long."  
  
He looked at her as if his own child had been reborn, "Its hard to believe this."  
  
She saw the weight of the world on his shoulders, "Let me help you. What is wrong with Dawn?"  
  
She looked down at Dawn. The girl on the couch was different from the girl that Buffy had left behind. This girl was older, yet she seemed so fragile, as if she was going to break at any moment.  
  
Oz was gently stroking her hair watching Giles and Buffy realized that something was going on here. He was protecting her. His demeanor was completely in defense of the girl on the couch with him. When he looked down for a second she saw pure feelings in his eyes.  
  
Whoa Buffy thought Things are different.  
  
"It's the Anointed One," Giles said pouring himself a drink.  
  
Buffy looked confused, "But he died Giles. He died Spike killed him just after I came back to school."  
  
"Well you didn't come back," Giles said harshly, then he breathed and realized he was being crueler than he intended, "Buffy I assure you that the Anointed One is still alive. He has been attempting to rid himself of Slayer after Slayer."  
  
"Kendra and Faith?" Buffy guessed.  
  
Giles looked at her suspiciously, "How do you know that."  
  
Buffy sighed, "The Powers have given me five years of.dreams, I guess is what they were. I died at the Master's hands, but Xander brought me back. Since I died another Slayer was called. I met Kendra and Faith, well kind of. I met them in another world."  
  
"Interesting premise, I wonder if there is any record of a Slayer dying and another being called."  
  
"There isn't. We checked," Buffy said impatiently. For some reason she just knew that certain things were identical in her world, "Now could you get on with the explaining? What is happening to Dawn?"  
  
Giles looked at her sharply, "Who was she to you."  
  
"She was my sister."  
  
"Buffy you don't have a sister. You didn't when you died."  
  
Buffy shook his head at him, "No there were these monk guys who needed to put this mystical energy that opened portals into human form. So they decided that the Slayer was the perfect person to protect the key from this hell god, Glory. She appeared fully formed with my mother and I having full memories."  
  
Giles looked at her for a minute then stepped forward and gave her a very British hug, "Welcome back Buffy. I've missed you."  
  
"So that is what made me believable?" Buffy said muffled in his coat, "You are a strange man Giles."  
  
He pulled back and smiled, "I think that no one would even attempt a story like that if they were not really you. Besides I blame you for becoming so peculiar."  
  
"Thanks Giles," Buffy said smiling at him.  
  
"Buffy you know there are rare cases of people emerging years after their deaths. These people are very human and they have been sent back for some purpose. They have all these memories of people they've never met. The memories are there to aid their return and their reason for re-being. It is utterly fascinating."  
  
Buffy nodded as if she understood, "That is good, so now can you continue your story."  
  
Giles nodded, "He killed Kendra when he called forward Acathala, it was the blood of the Slayer that opened the portal. He aided the mayor in the Ascension. It was then that he emerged and killed Faith himself. Now he has poisoned Dawn. She cannot be killed, but he has rendered her harmless. She has so little energy. She doesn't do anything except fight. She goes out when she can. Oz goes with her. Have you met Oz?" Giles asked.  
  
Buffy looked at him, "Werewolf?"  
  
Oz raised an eyebrow, "Yep."  
  
Buffy looked back at Giles, "I know him, a little different of course."  
  
Buffy looked back at the weirdness of Oz cuddling with Dawn. She shivered.  
  
Giles continued, "She can't go alone. On off nights when she has been hurt Xander and Willow cover the shift. That is where they are tonight. Dawn was in the hospital after a fight. The Anointed One has found a way to live in a town with a Slayer, yet not have to worry about her presence. It isn't good. The worst part is that he never emerges from his lair except when he is surrounded by no less than twenty vamps."  
  
"Oh," Buffy said sitting down. She had never really understood the point of the Anointed One, he seemed more like a means than an actual enemy, but she had never questioned what power this child had. All she had known was that he had lead her to the Master and disappeared. Later the whispers of the underworld had proclaimed that Spike had thrown the child in sunlight.  
  
"So Spike didn't kill him," she muttered.  
  
"Who is Spike?" Giles asked confused.  
  
"William the Bloody?" Buffy tried.  
  
Giles shook his head, "Is he a vampire?"  
  
Buffy nodded, but something began to form in her head.  
  
"Giles if I am here to protect Dawn would it be beneficial to stake the Anointed One?" Buffy asked slowly.  
  
Giles nodded, "It is the only way to end her agony. He has cursed her with a mystical poison. His end would mean the continuance of Dawn's normal functions."  
  
Buffy bit her lip, "And no one can get to him but his own kind?"  
  
Giles nodded, "Buffy what are you thinking."  
  
Buffy looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, "I'm working on a plan. Can we get Xander and Willow here."  
  
"Yes, that is right, "Giles said taking out a cell phone, "I should have remembered that they would want to know."  
  
"Giles," Buffy shrieked, "What are you doing with that thing. That is a cell phone. That is technology."  
  
Giles eyes smiled for a moment then his guise changed, "Buffy this is a far worse place than you were in, I believe. No one goes out here at night. We've devised a night smog warning if it looks to be too many vampires. The people buy it, they have to. On a good day it feels as if we can win. On a bad day we're just fighting to stay on top. The five of us stay in constant contact. I even can do e-mail now."  
  
Buffy didn't know what to say. She looked down at her fingers and began to cultivate the plan that had begun in her head. 


	6. Planning On Changing the World

A/N lol: you guys crack me up. Giles new acceptance of technology was just a throw away bit to show the fact that the gang may not be winning the war, yet you all commented on it. I'm glad that you guys like the little things. And yes Dawn is indeed the slayer after Faith. I wanted to post this halfway through to give you all a tingly little cliffhanger. However I am in a generous mood because you guys rock with all the support for this story. So here is a little reward - a longer chapter.  
  
PS - Blame the extreme detail about season two on the fact that I was just bought the DVD. I have more detail than I know what to do with. Just pray I don't have Buffy ice-skating. Haha. Wait I am a nerd, no one probably knows what I am talking about. Oh well. On with the story.  
  
***  
  
Oz had taken Dawn upstairs to where her room was. Giles and Buffy sat alone in the living room of his house. The sun's rays slanted over the books. It almost felt like the library.  
  
"Giles what happened to my mother?" Buffy asked quietly.  
  
Giles took off his glasses, "Buffy I don't know how to say this, but your mother died awhile ago. There was a tumor…"  
  
Buffy held up her hand, "I know all of this. I was just hoping."  
  
Giles looked down at her tearing eyes, "I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay I lost her a long time ago. I just wish she didn't have to die alone," Buffy muttered.  
  
Giles smiled faintly, "She didn't die alone. After Acathala when Jenny died your mother was very supportive. We became very close. We were very good friends."  
  
Buffy looked at him through narrowed eyes, "You two weren't anything more than friends were you. There wasn't anything with candy and a cop car."  
  
Giles looked down at her with wide eyes, "That was just the candy. We were just friends. Let us never speak of this again."  
  
"Ewww Giles," Buffy groaned and then muttered to herself, "Of course that would be the same. Eww."  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence and then the door opened, "Giles you better have a good reason for getting us up at the crack of noon."  
  
Willow poked Xander, "One of us was sleeping the other was listening to snoring."  
  
The two entered the room and Buffy slowly turned around.  
  
They looked exactly the same. Xander's hair was a bit shorter and Willow's was a little less red, but they stood there looking the same.  
  
The pair looked at Giles. Giles gave a nod. Willow looked at Xander and smiled.  
  
"Well look what we have here."  
  
Xander looked at Buffy and squinted, "I don't know the Buffy I remember had bigger bo…."  
  
Xander's speech was cut off by a sharp jab to his rib cage.  
  
He immediately put his arms around her.  
  
"So Buffster," Xander said with his chin resting on Willow's head, "You're back from the dead. How ya feeling?"  
  
Buffy flashed him a huge smile, "I feel good. I think I'm going to clean up this town, kill a little Annoying One, fix Dawn."  
  
Willow nodded, "Oh that is good. Need help?"  
  
Buffy giggled and jumped up and hugged her friends. This Willow was whole. She had seen the dark side of life, but not of herself. This Xander looked so comfortable and happy to be in a relationship. She loved them no matter what, but she was happy that they were so alive.  
  
There were many hugs to be had. Willow talked continuously. Xander added to what she was saying. It was a big mess and Buffy loved it. Giles began to explain what she was doing alive again, and what had happened with her death.  
  
"Wait," Buffy said in the middle of his speech, "We need to do something now, before nightfall."  
  
"Oh goodie," Willow said.  
  
Xander nodded his head in approval then suddenly looked alarmed, "Please tell me this won't involve books. I've had enough books."  
  
Buffy shook her head, "No, there is a crypt where some guy was excommunicated and sent to Sunnydale. Let me think…his name is duLac. I need the two of you to go and get a gold cross that was entombed with him."  
  
Xander made a face, "Breaking into crypts, hmmm, only slightly better than books."  
  
Willow looked up at him, "But we get to do vandalism. Giles never lets us do vandalism."  
  
Buffy gave them instructions on where to go and what to find.  
  
"A-ok," Xander said on his way out of the door, "I'll call Giles if there is a problem."  
  
When they left Buffy turned to Giles, "Step one in process, we can begin step two. Giles I need to tell you some things."  
  
Buffy told Giles about Spike and Drusilla. She informed him on her theory that they were there to make Drusilla better. She explained the ritual.  
  
"You believe this is why they are here this time?" Giles asked.  
  
Buffy nodded, "I don't know how to explain it. It is like I understand the rules that I came back with. Some of what I went through was…what is that thingy that stands for something else?"  
  
"A metaphor or symbolism."  
  
"Yeah, well some of what I went through was symbolism. However I know certain things. There are certain things that I am sure are the same. The big things like Acathala, and the Accession happened in both places. I think that this is the same. In fact I'm sure."  
  
Giles smiled, "We have our own oracle. This can be very good."  
  
"Don't give me too much credit yet. We still have one other thing to do."  
  
"And that is?"  
  
"We need to find a book by the guy duLac."  
  
Giles went to his basement and Buffy followed. The downstairs housed more books than the library. Buffy was amazed that he had such a collection. She had never really considered where the books from the library had gone.  
  
"Do you know what this book was about? It does not sound familiar," Giles said examining his bookcase, "I've heard about the duLac cross, but not this manuscript."  
  
"It contains something about curing a sick vampire."  
  
Giles thought for a moment. Then he went to a bookshelf.  
  
"That is odd."  
  
"Odd good or odd bad?"  
  
"Bad," Giles said from behind one of his bookcases, "I think that the book is gone."  
  
"Giles it can't be. A vampire wants the book. Only a vampire can't come in. Invite only for all vamps."  
  
Giles had removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Bugger. I think I may have hired a vampire to clean the carpets."  
  
"Great Giles, are we slipping in our old age."  
  
Giles gave her a withering glance, "I thought she may have been when she left, but she didn't bite and did a good job on the carpets."  
  
Buffy gave him a fixed stare, "I think that you have mislaid your priorities. He's got the book."  
  
"But he can't read it without the cross," Giles pointed out.  
  
"It'll have to do," Buffy said thinking. There was one more thing.  
  
"What happened to Angel?" she asked suddenly as they walked up the stairs.  
  
Giles was momentarily taken aback, "Angel? Well he stuck around here for awhile. He and Xander were the ones who killed the Master, well actually more Xander. Then he stopped Acathala. Later he helped with the Accession. He seemed a little lost after you died. He developed a friendship with Cordelia. After graduation they went to Los Angeles. They all left actually, Xander and Willow included. Xander was a Marine and Willow went to Princeton. I called them all back when I realized Dawn was ill. They've been good help. I've lost track of Cordelia and Angel. We all kind of wanted to have our own space after Graduation and the school burning down."  
  
Buffy bit her lip, "Well maybe…Giles can I use your phone."  
  
Buffy picked up the phone and dialed the number.  
  
"Hello Angel Investigations," a perky voice said.  
  
Buffy wanted to laugh. The Powers had given her the strangest knowledge.  
  
"Hi Cordelia, it's Buffy can I speak to Angel."  
  
****  
  
Buffy felt elated again. Her plan was in place. In a few days she would have everything that she needed. She had told Giles that she would patrol alone. Dawn was still too weak, and the rest had other things to do. Besides Buffy could take care of the problems in Sunnydale.   
  
She walked into the cemetery and began to make her rounds.  
  
****  
  
If she would have looked up she would have seen someone watching her.  
  
Spike had heard her fighting and he wanted to see what was going on. He had a great vantage point. He crouched on top of a mausoleum. His hands rested on leather clad legs, one held a cigarette, his duster was flapping in the wind. Blue eyes watched her every movement. She moved like water.  
  
She gave a round house kick and then did a back flip onto her hands.  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow in approval, "Chit's good."  
  
He tilted his head. Her motions were somewhat familiar.  
  
He watched her dust five vamps in ten minutes.  
  
"Time to join the party," he said tossing away his cigarette.  
  
He jumped down and crossed the cemetery.  
  
"Hello luv," he said, "You missed me?"  
  
She turned around. He seemed taller to her.   
  
She smiled, "More than you know."  
  
It was so simple like this. It was easy when it was clear cut. He wanted to kill everybody including her.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked circling her, "You are human, you have strength. Didn't anybody tell you that we already have a slayer in this town?"  
  
Buffy smiled, "I am the next Big Bad."  
  
Spike looked up and down her little frame. His eyes seemed to linger in places Buffy remembered what that look meant a couple of days ago. Instead of revulsion she felt turned on.  
  
"You're bloody kidding."  
  
She definitely remembered what that voice meant.  
  
"I've had enough chit chat. Do you want to fight?" he asked.  
  
"Always."  
  
He came at her and Buffy dodged his punches.  
  
"Spike stop leaving your left side open like that," Buffy chastised after a bit of fighting.  
  
Spike looked startled. It was not everyday that an opponent who promised to kill you gave advice on fighting. Buffy pulled back and looked at him expectantly.  
  
"Well I don't want you to make this too easy, besides you know I kind of said that I wouldn't kill you until Saturday."  
  
Spike looked at her as if he was trying to figure out if she was for real or not.  
  
"You are just bloody…weird."  
  
She smiled, "Well I don't know if that is a step up from you have ugly hair, but you are loosing your insult ability."  
  
With that she left a very confused vampire with only her laughter. 


	7. The Pounding of the Heartbeats

Just for those confused, Buffy is sent back the same amount of time she lived. Six years have passed. Kendra was the Slayer for a year, Faith a year, then Dawn was the Slayer for a year then she got poisoned and two more years have passed. Buffy is 21ish or whatever, Dawn is 19. I'm trying not to overload the story with long winded explanations, the subtleties may be a little too subtle. I hope this explanation helps!!   
  
PS I love everyone who has posted a little note. It is the best feeling to know you're liking this. Just one question - Is it moving too slow? Chapters too short? I'd just like to know.  
  
  
****  
  
  
Buffy got up early. It was kind of a natural thing seeing as she was used to getting Dawn off to school. Of course now Dawn was out of school and she didn't need to get up, but she did anyway.  
  
She was rewarded. After starting a pot of coffee, Dawn walked in.  
  
"Hey sleepyhead, can I interest you in pancakes?" Buffy said cheerfully.  
  
Dawn raised an eyebrow, "I don't know. I have the feeling that you aren't the best cook."  
  
"Well how about waffles then?" Buffy said biting her lip, "I know Giles has a machine. We got it for him at his birthday. Wait that was five years ago. Do you think he still has it?"  
  
Dawn shrugged, "Let's find out."  
  
The girls scurried around the kitchen. Buffy was pleasantly surprised to find that in addition to taking in a slayer border he had also begun to stock the panty. Alas there was no waffle iron.  
  
"That stinks," Buffy said, "How about eggs and bacon."  
  
Dawn smiled, "How about I make it for you."  
  
Buffy relinquished breakfast duty and sat sipping her coffee as Dawn began to cook the eggs and bacon.  
  
Dawn caught her staring at her, "So do I remind you much of her?"  
  
Buffy examined her coffee for a second trying to figure out what to stay to that.  
  
"Dawn you are her. I bet you shoplifted a lot around fourteen."  
  
Dawn reddened, "A lot of kids did."  
  
"It doesn't really need explaining, I just know that you are her."  
  
Dawn shrugged, "Well I know that you like your eggs over light, but I messed up so you will have to enjoy them fried."  
  
Buffy smiled.  
  
"So is this going to work?" Dawn asked suddenly, "I mean I have almost forgotten what it is like to have any sort of stamina. I just want to know if you can fix this."  
  
Buffy saw the wide eyes so filled with a hop that she had to go and hug the girl.  
  
"I will make you better I promise. I'm Super Buffy. I know all."  
  
Dawn looked back down at the pan, "For so long Giles and Oz searched for a cure. They looked and it was like every little hope hurt worse when it didn't come true. I would just like to wake up one day and be able to stay up all day long."  
  
Buffy nodded, gaining insight into the scope of what she had taken on "You will. You have my word."  
  
At that moment the kitchen door was thrown open.  
  
"Hello my two favorite slayers," Xander said good naturedly.  
  
Willow bounded in behind him.  
  
"I've got good news! I have found a spell that can intensify the powers of the cross!"  
  
Buffy pushed away her coffee, "Don't need that anymore. I've just got a dose of Willow adrenaline."  
  
Willow continued talking very quickly, "With this spell it will make it impossible for any vampire to hold the cross even with gloves. Oooh, and I have the things for the de-invite spell."  
  
"Would you like breakfast first?" Buffy asked dryly.  
  
Xander looked over at her looking very tired, "She's been up all night finding these things. I had to keep her at home until seven. It is like a child at Christmas."  
  
Buffy smiled and poured him a cup of coffee, "Thank you."  
  
Willow pouted, "I just get all giddy when there is a plan a-brewing."  
  
"Well the brew needs some time to stew," Buffy said shaking her head at her poor poem, "I think we can have breakfast."  
  
Buffy turned to look at Dawn.  
  
"So missy I want to hear the story behind you and Oz, what id going on there?"  
  
Willow giggled and Dawn turned beet red.  
  
***  
  
"So this is wonderful," Spike said pacing and smoking, "I have one woman who doesn't make a bleeding word of sense who is depending on me not to die. I also have a little chit who makes too much sense who wants to kill me."  
  
Dalton looked up at him in confusion.  
  
"Who is this other woman."  
  
Spike glared down at him, "She's a tiny little hellion, who appears out of nowhere throws me around then leaves with some smart remark. No one has been able to tell me who the hell she is or why she's here. It's like she is here to be a pain in my…" Spike looked at Dalton, "What do you care. You are here to translate."  
  
Dalton looked up hesitantly, "I think we're missing something. This doesn't make sense."  
  
Spike inhaled his cigarette, "Well what are we missing?"  
  
"I don't know," Dalton said ducking, waiting for a blow to come, one that never did.  
  
Dalton looked up and in the doorway was one of the Anointed One's minions.  
  
"The Anointed One wants to see you."  
  
Spike glared at the minion. He hated Sunnydale. He hated this town.  
  
"I'll be there later."  
  
The minion grabbed Spike, "No you will see him now."  
  
"Are you tripping," Spike said looking at him in amazement, "Do you understand the hierarchy. You are a peon. I am a master. You don't touch me."  
  
Spike threw the minion.   
  
"You don't give me orders."  
  
The minion stood up, "Well I answer to a higher power. You will come and see the Anointed One."  
  
"Bleeding town and their women and children," Spike muttered.  
  
***  
  
"Okay incantation time," Willow said going to the cupboard where they decided to store the cross until they could figure out exactly what to do with it.  
  
She opened the cupboard.  
  
"Giles," Willow said in a strained voice.  
  
Giles turned to look into the cupboard.  
  
It was empty.  
  
***  
  
"You called," Spike said with complete contempt.  
  
The child tilted his head and peered at Spike through almond eyes.  
  
"I feel as if there is a rift between the two of us."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, "I don't know if I would say that."  
  
I hate you, Spike thought pleasantly.  
  
"The fact remains that we are family. I would like to offer you a token of good faith."  
  
The child motioned to one of his minions. The minion came forward with a cloth covered parcel.  
  
"I present to you the duLac cross."  
  
Spike looked down at the golden cross in front of him.  
  
"Gee your token of peace is pretty. Should I touch it and burn my hand off?"  
  
"It is to help you with your problems. It will help cure Drusilla."  
  
Spike regarded the cross with some interest. He nodded.  
  
"It'll do, now what do you want for it."  
  
"It is a token of my good faith, but if you want to reciprocate then I know of a favor that I can ask of you.  
  
"What is that?" Spike asked skeptically.  
  
"There is a girl who has entered town. A blonde haired innocent looking girl. She can fight our kind, and she wins often. She is a force to be reckoned with."  
  
"I met her," Spike said blandly. Internally he was very interested in the fact that the child seemed to be a bit put off by her. She had quite an effect on everyone.  
  
The Anointed One nodded, "She is like that."  
  
"So what do you want me to do about this girl? Dance with her?"  
  
The child shook head, "Kill her."  
  
Spike looked at him with skepticism. There was something that the boy was holding back. This was too easy.  
  
"Do you want to tell me something to be prepared, cause you're kind of holding back," Spike said coldly.  
  
The child though for a little bit, "She's a Slayer, raised from the dead. Be cautious."  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow, "Thanks man. I'm going to take the cross and go now."  
  
As he left he smiled a sinister smile. He felt a little better.  
  
***  
  
Buffy ran her hands through her hair, "Giles what do we do?"  
  
Giles looked at her as he nibbled at the end of his glasses.  
  
"I need to know what happens now," Giles said as lack of anything else to say.  
  
"I told you. They'll translate it and then they will figure out that they need Angel. Finding him will delay it a few days, but in the end they have the key. Damn I was all happy that things were going so smoothly."  
  
Buffy looked into the living room where Dawn was sleeping on the lap of Oz. She wanted to let herself feel less confident, but she couldn't. She had to protect Dawn.  
  
"I think I need to meet with a certain vampire a little early. I think he'll understand. We've never been good at keeping appointments." 


	8. The Dreams of a Life Time Never Lived

To be honest I know nothing about Marines. I had an ex who went into the Marines. I tuned him out at all times when he started on stories. Which is why we probably aren't together anymore and also why the Marine detail is very very flimsy.  
  
****  
  
"Do you really think this is best," Xander asked.  
  
Buffy looked up from the closet before her. She was at Willow's house looking for something to wear for the noontime meeting she had put in her schedule.  
  
"He's a blood sucking fiend," Xander pointed out.  
  
"God Xander," Buffy said huffily, "Do you ever change your tune. You're so black and white, vampires are all bad, they'll do nothing but manipulate. Don't be so bigoted."  
  
Xander recoiled into Willow's arms. He looked a bit hurt, "I like Angel."   
  
Buffy realized that she was mad at a Xander who had reacted poorly to Angelus' abuse and to Spike's dalliance with his girlfriend. This wasn't a boy who loved her and hated the vampire's who touched her.  
  
Willow looked down at him skeptically, "You do not like Angel."  
  
Xander looked up defensively, "Well I don't dislike him."  
  
Willow didn't change her facial skepticism.  
  
Xander sighed, " Okay. We don't get along in the slightest, but we work well together. He's never done anything to hurt me and I can deal with him."  
  
Buffy raised an eyebrow, "So you don't count the soul."  
  
"A man is redeemed through good works," Xander said neutrally.  
  
Buffy blinked repeatedly, "Where did you get that from."  
  
Xander shrugged in Willow's arms, "From some movie or the bible."  
  
"You read the bible!" Buffy shrieked.  
  
Willow snickered and Xander tried and failed to look pious.  
  
"Nah Buff, I must have picked it up when I was in basic training there was this guy who was from Iowa…"  
  
Willow grabbed a pillow and attempted to smother Xander,  
  
Willow looked at Buffy, "Don't ever ask anything about the Marines. He was in it for a year, yet he makes it sound like he was in there for a life. We got pulled over by this cop. I was terrified, but the cop noticed the Marine sticker in the car and they start talking and all the sudden we just get to go. It's a cult."  
  
Xander climbed his way from behind the pillow, "She exaggerates."  
  
Willow rolled her eyes, "Not a chance."  
  
"Xander began to tickle her. Willow squealed and wriggled around.  
  
"Geeze, do you two ever stop?" Buffy said holding up a blue shirt.  
  
Willow pulled away and flopped on her stomach, and Xander followed her lead. They watched Buffy.  
  
"You still don't' get it do you?" Willow asked quietly, "We go out every night, not knowing if we are going to return. Our lifestyle doesn't lend for a long life. I mean how many vampire hunters live to be fifty, especially on the Hellmouth. Slayers doesn't even live very long and they've got super powers. We just live everyday to the fullest."  
  
Buffy's heart tightened. They had helped three Slayers, and those three slayers had died. So many times she had worried over her own life expectancy. They had to survive on their own, without her to protect them. They understood the eeriness of not knowing about where their future lay.  
  
"Xander," Buffy said thinking of his earlier question, "I'm sure that this is what I have to do. I am definitely sure that this will work."  
  
"Why?" Xander asked, "Don't tell me, you were boinking more of the undead!!"  
  
Willow poke him again, "It does seem as if you had a relationship."  
  
"Does he have a soul!"  
  
"Do you love him?"  
  
Buffy looked at them and grabbed an outfit, "I may have had relations, not a relationship, he doesn't have a soul, and he loved me."  
  
With that she shot out the door.  
  
Xander looked over at Willow his hands propping up his chin, his feet swaying at the far end of the bed, "Things are definitely more interesting with her here. What we get daily vampires, and huge apocalypse, but no drama. With Buffy come all this drama. It's fluffy drama. I like. It makes the day to day all that more interesting, all the less focus on doom and gloom."  
  
Willow had the exact same positioning as Xander her feet swaying in time with hers, "I know. What is it with her and vampires. I wonder if Angel knows! I think that Spike is part of Angel's line. I wonder what that means. This is definitely interesting."  
  
"For the love of Christ," Buffy said from the bathroom, "I can hear you."  
  
Buffy and Xander muffled giggles with their hands.  
  
****  
  
She sat looking at the factory, simply just waiting. Her plan was always to wait until noon before entering into his domain.  
  
What am I willing to sacrifice for Dawn? She thought, I've already given my life but what other life am I willing to give?  
  
It would be a simple deal just to give him Angel. However she couldn't do that. Something in her integral Buffy moral code wouldn't let herself just give up someone else to save Dawn.  
  
Her new found self-esteem wouldn't just let her march in there and give up herself either. She wanted this to work, but she couldn't just use him again.  
  
She had found something beautiful in a monster and she had turned it into something ugly. He attempted to make it beautiful with love and she just let herself use him, without thinking that a monster had feelings. She just let herself drown in his beauty and honesty.  
  
So how was this going to work. In fifteen minutes she was going to walk into his home and announce that he was going to help her. He would, one way or another.  
  
Buffy just hoped that it would be the right way.  
  
This was a different creature from the one that she had known. This one was brood free. He had never faced time in a wheelchair while everything else went on. He had never seen his lover enjoy the company of another. This one was un-chipped and had not learned the lessons of patience when you are forced to be something different. He still believed in the rules of vampires are top of the food chain, happy-meals on legs and all.  
  
However she knew him. She knew what lay underneath. He lived by his heart, by his emotions. He fought with his mind only on the fight. He loved with his un-beating heart only to care about one person. He was better than most people. It was just a matter of getting there.   
  
But she had seen his eyes the first times that he saw her. For a moment before fighting before the snide comments he had seen him watching her. He knew instinctively that there was something about her. He knew better than she did.   
  
And Spike was a creature of Instinct.  
  
Buffy had also realized that those who loved her had some kind of premonition of the shadow life that they had lived. It was as if they all had dreams. Dawn was the slayer, she had conscious dreams.  
  
Everyone dreams. It is a common fact. Every night in REM sleep people dream. It is only the interruption of the dreams that gives them over to the conscious. Even then the dreams are occasionally ripped out of a person's thoughts. They can't hold on to dreams no matter what. There are some people who are different. Those people have trained themselves to remember. But there are some dreams, so elusive that they cannot be held on to. These dreams haunt the waking.  
  
Buffy swore that it was these dreams that everyone around her had.  
  
It wasn't something that anyone could talk about. It was just something that was.  
  
Some times little bits of memory would pass behind the eyes of Xander and Willow. He would pull her tighter and she would close her eyes to the memories that haunted them. They had each other, and that is what they needed.  
  
The moment that Buffy had brought up Angel, Giles had blanched. Then he had returned to the normal Giles' face. Angel had never touched him, never done anything but help, but there was some part of Giles that could not bear Angel. It was almost as if he remembered Angelus' torture.   
  
Buffy could almost read the undercurrents. These people were happy in who they were, but they also knew that part of them could be very different.  
  
They didn't remember a thing, but Buffy knew that they had dreamed.  
  
Did demons dream?  
  
Buffy giggled.  
  
She knew the answer to that one. There were mornings that Spike would start purring and moving. He had been caught in a very pleasant dream. She had watched him the first time, swearing that if he called out Drusilla's name then she would stake him on the spot. However he hadn't he had giggled and said her name in a way that made her weak. He never knew that she just didn't run after sex. She ran in the morning when it became suddenly very clear that he was allowing her to use him in the worst way.  
  
Daemons did dream. At least that one did. He dreamed with his heart.  
  
Buffy looked at her watch.   
  
She just hoped that this demon still dreamed about her. 


	9. Waking, Yet Still Dreaming

Sorry it took so long. This was a hard chapter to write.  
  
  
"Did you notice how she never answered if she loved him or not?" Willow said curling around a bowl of popcorn. Xander came next to her with two sodas. They usually spent afternoons watching movies. They never could have date nights, as they had to patrol every night. Dawn and Oz would take the east side, Willow and Xander would take the west side, and Giles would patrol the streets by car until morning. They were the night safety patrol. The city was so tired of their children dying that they didn't go out anymore at night. God forbid they move from the Hellmouth. It was a force that seemed to hold all those who came near stationary. It was like they knew that they were in a bad place, but they couldn't seem to look away.  
  
"Willow, you're a romantic," Xander said stuffing his mouth with popcorn.  
  
"There was just something about the way she said his name…"  
  
"Will the guy is a vampire."  
  
Willow sighed and put another piece of popcorn in her mouth that is how they all went in, one kernel at a time. Then she looked at him.  
  
"Xan, that doesn't sound like you. You don't usually put labels on people."  
  
Xander's forehead wrinkled, "I know. It's weird. I feel all of these things that aren't really me. When Giles called us yesterday I suddenly woke up and I felt different. I know that I just don't like this Spike-guy. I've got all this bitter taste in my mouth."  
  
Willow wordlessly picked up popcorn and shoved it in his mouth.  
  
"Tanks," Xander said with a full mouth, "I men metta-for-cally."  
  
Xander chewed and Willow looked up at him and stroked his cheek.  
  
"It's because of her isn't it?" Willow said softly, "You loved her and she died, you loved Faith and she died. This is your chance isn't it."  
  
Xander captured her head between his hands, "Willow I have always loved your more than anything and not just in that friend way. When Faith caught us making out I couldn't stand hurting her. She needed me for everything that was coming up. However despite everything I realized senior year that I've never care more about anyone than you. I didn't know how to say it for so long."  
  
Willow looked down hesitantly, "Aww shucks Xander…"  
  
"No," Xander said seriously making her look at him, "You are not going to make this into some kind of joke. I love you. For a million different reasons. You're alive so you get the award? Is that what you think. You're wrong. Buffy was here for six months, Faith for nine, you've been here for a life time. You know me. You've seen me at my dorkiest. You've seen me through it all. Will…"  
  
Xander's voice broke, but he went on.  
  
"You saw me when I was black and blue from his fists and with welts the size of his belt. You know every inch of my life. You've seen the dark side and yet somehow you don't flinch and turn away. You should be disgusted with me, but you treat me everyday like a man that I still haven't become. I have faith in all of this because of you."  
  
Willow looked wide eyed and opened her mouth.  
  
Xander went on, "But no matter the weirdness of the last few days I want you to know that I will always be faithful to you."  
  
Willow opened her mouth again and found that this time it worked, "I love you too Xander."  
  
***  
  
"Giles is this for the best?  
  
Dawn looked worriedly into the eyes of her Watcher.  
  
Giles took off his glasses, "I think so. There really is no alternative. We have lost a round and we need to step up our game."  
  
"So can I at least be let in on where Buffy is going?" Dawn asked rolling her eyes, "I'm the slayer too."  
  
Oz came and sat down beside her, "I think we just don't want to worry you."  
  
Dawn fixed him with a death stare, "Tell me now."  
  
Oz and Giles exchanged a look over her head. Dawn pretended not to notice, but she seethed inside. Oz and Giles had begun to treat her like a child two years ago. At first it was nice, it was good that they were trying to compensate for her sudden weakness. Oz would patrol with her in wolf form. It was good as she gathered her strength, but now she was sick of being treated like a child. She loved Oz and she knew that they were doing everything they could to protect her, but she just wanted to have some freedom. They had seemed to forget that she was actually the slayer. Now that she had seen Buffy take charge so often she remembered that her job was not just to sit back.  
  
"Now, plan now," Dawn growled.  
  
Giles sighed but began to tell her what Buffy was doing. Dawn felt that she did a good job of remaining impassive.  
  
"So is Buffy sure that this guy is William the Bloody?"  
  
Oz nodded, "She saw him a couple of times. She says that he is this guy she remembered."  
  
Dawn nodded, "Well it feels good to know. I am tired now, I think I'll rest."  
  
"Do you want company?" Oz said with a smile.  
  
He took care of her. He was faithful and he never lied, even by omission. He was a wonderful protector, but right now she wasn't thinking about the nice puppy guardian she had been given. She was remembering her Doberman. She didn't think he would understand. If he did then he would consult with Giles and that would just lead to them deciding that she should stay home.   
  
They wouldn't understand.  
  
She went upstairs. She had a rare occasion to do this. Oz insisted on sleeping in her bed. He was soft and comfortable and she fit so well under his chin on his shoulder. He loved her and wanted to protect her from whatever could come into the window. It was great most of the time, because she was scared most of the time.  
  
But now she needed to be alone. She needed to do what she couldn't usually do. During the day time they let her alone. She opened the window and thought about how weird it was that she was sneaking out in daylight.  
  
She had become a virtual prisoner.  
  
She needed to get better. Buffy may know how to get it done, but a little leverage never hurt.  
  
***  
  
Buffy walked around the wooden table. The room was empty.  
  
She casually sat down and propped her legs up on the table. She picked up the pieces of paper that lay on the table.  
  
She began to read the sheets.  
  
***  
  
Dru came up behind Spike and began to massage his shoulders.  
  
"So the little burr is beginning to chafe? Silly girl. I'm the princess."  
  
Spike looked up at her and smiled, "Of course you are luv."  
  
Drusilla giggled as he pulled her around to her lap. He began to kiss her thoroughly. Drusilla sighed under his touch. She dreamily pulled away.  
  
When she looked at him again her eyes went from dazed to cold.  
  
"Do you still love Princess?" she demanded.  
  
"Dru I love every non living cell in your body."  
  
Dru began to whine, "Then why is she there. Why is she dancing around in your head. You love Princess."  
  
Spike got up, "Dru luv you know where my heart lies."  
  
Dru looked up at him disappointed. She indeed knew where his heart lay.  
  
Suddenly she looked at the doorway that lead to the larger room.  
  
"She's here," Dru whispered, "The little thing is here."  
  
Dru looked up at him, remarkably sane, "If you love me then you'll eat her little bitties up."  
  
***  
  
Spike entered the room and looked at Buffy reading the manuscript.  
  
"Where is my security. You think that I could have some decent people who make sure that I can sleep in peace."  
  
"Hi," Buffy said cheerfully putting down the manuscript, "I'm just making myself at home. This is interesting reading material."  
  
"Course I'd find you here, why the bloody hell not? I mean this is my lair and you don't belong here course this is where I find you. Right on the breakfast nook."  
  
"You're not a morning person, that I know, but I always took you as an afternoon person. Perhaps that was only when you were watching Passions."  
  
Spike shrugged off her comment, he was shocked but he was used to it by now. He looked around  
  
"So why are you here?"  
  
Buffy cocked her head. Ready to answer, ready to give him some flip answer, when she realized that she didn't know what she was doing in his lair.   
  
She didn't know why.   
  
Then it hit her. It hit her like a ton of bricks. She realized what she had been waiting for. She realized why she had taunted him and needled him. She realized what she was looking for in all of this. She had put everything on the line because she believed in something. She wanted to see what was behind the monster.  
  
"Because I like you," she said simply.  
  
Spike looked at the girl who had always greeted him with contempt and mockery was suddenly sitting before him with open green eyes.  
  
"I like you and I need your help."  
  
Spike faltered as he took a step forward the girl, but then he stopped.  
  
"Well isn't that lovely. I don't help slayers and I'm not helping you."  
  
Spike smirked. He felt like he had the upper hand. Then all of the sudden she began to walk nearer to him. She wasn't looking at him anymore she was looking inside of him. At least when Dru did something like that she had the decency to not be so lucid when she peered into his soul.  
  
"Please."  
  
And then she was standing just a few feet away from him. He knew some part of him should want to kill this girl, but suddenly he was undone.   
  
He had felt confusion for the past few days. Confusion he could deal with, but now he was certain. He couldn't say what he was certain about, but he was.  
  
"Do you understand the natural concepts of Slayers and Vampires," he said weakly, "We don't get along."  
  
Tears began to form in her eyes, "No, we never have, but…"  
  
Spike looked at her all gloatingly, "You're just mad because I have the key. I can cure Dru, that scares you."  
  
Buffy looked at him sadly. Spike faltered once again. If he didn't know better he would think that this was jealousy.  
  
Spike took a menacing step toward her. He slipped in game face.  
  
"Little girl are you lost?"  
  
He knew that she usually reacted violently when vampires changed into game face. He had watched her enough to know this. She seemed to revel in killing something that bastardized the human body. He needed to goad her, he needed her mad. The sudden change of her eyes scared him.   
  
Spike approached her, and her face changed, but not in the way that he thought it should.  
  
She seemed to be looking behind the fangs, she was looking beyond the vampire, she was looking into the soul that Spike knew he had lost a long time ago.  
  
She reached a hand out and touched the ridges on his face. She smiled and reached up and kissed him lightly, pulling his bottom lip.   
  
In shock his face melted into human features. The innocence in his eyes was astounding for a creature that had spent more than a century killing.  
  
Without thinking he leaned in and kissed her. He didn't know what he meant to do when he kissed her, but when he found her lips he started to drown. His head was dizzy and he couldn't function.  
  
For one second he gathered a clear thought and pulled away as quickly as possible.  
  
"Listen to me Slayer there is no reason that I want to help you," Spike said as if he had found sunlight. For a few moments he had lost his head.  
  
Buffy saw his resolve fading. She, but she had felt his response.  
  
She opened her mouth, but she didn't know what to say. She could feel the Spike she knew. She could feel him. She was so sure. However she didn't know how to give the last push.  
  
Fortunately she didn't have to.  
  
Out of the shadows, much like Spike did in Buffy's memory, much like Buffy had only days earlier, arrived the answer.  
  
Cloaked in shadow as she was realization hit Spike very hard.  
  
"Nibblet?" he croaked. 


	10. They Don't Make Angry Mobs Like They Use...

Dawn walked up to the vampire and smiled.  
  
"Dawn get back," Buffy said moving to block Spike from the girl. The young Slayer didn't move and didn't heed Buffy's advice.  
  
Dawn looked up at the vampire.  
  
"Hello Spike," Dawn said softly, "I thought it was you who knocked me out the other day."  
  
Spike closed his eyes, "That was you." He opened them again, "You're still the Slayer?"  
  
Dawn nodded, "Lucky me, still got the position."  
  
Spike let out a long sigh, "I suppose that you know her, she claims to be the Slayer too," he asked nodding toward where Buffy stood, still afraid to look at her.  
  
Dawn smiled, her lips close together, as not to let a giggle out.  
  
"So you two are working together. The Slayers?" Spike said, very reserved. He studied the two of them. There was no emotion registering on his face.  
  
"Isn't that impossible?" he said biting on the insides of his cheeks. The vein in his jawbone jumped. Buffy pondered how *that* was possible. He didn't have a heartbeat, but he had a pulse in his cheek.  
  
"So you know Dawnie?" Buffy asked Spike.  
  
Dawn giggled, "The big bad vampire was my bodyguard."  
  
Buffy raised an eyebrow, "He guarded your body?"  
  
Dawn laughed again, "No I was a kid, it was completely innocent, but non consensual."  
  
"Thanks pet for still portraying me as a bad guy," Spike suddenly broke in, "But you're telling the story wrong."  
  
Dawn couldn't stop laughing, "It-was--non----consensual-on----his--part."  
  
Spike was grinding his teeth into dust.  
  
"That's it!" he growled loudly, "You two are going to be the death of me."  
  
"You're already dead," Buffy pointed out walking up to Dawn and linking arms with the giggling girl.   
  
"So you and Spike?" Buffy asked with bland curiosity.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, he realized that the situation was beyond his control. These two girls had seen that he had lost all semblance of what it meant to be a vampire. These girls weren't scared in the slightest. In fact the look that the little blonde was giving him was again bordering on jealous again.  
  
Dawn crinkled her nose she answered in a mock swoon, "I believe it was a case of unrequited love. I was in adoration of him and he would never love me."  
  
"You were going to be a Slayer," Spike said defensively, "I was a vampire. We don't mix."  
  
The blonde gave him faint smile, "No never."  
  
Spike looked at her and saw something. He felt wrong. The kiss that they had just shared had brought down a wall of black and white, just like what Dawn had done three years earlier.  
  
Buffy turned to Dawn, "So dish girl, what did William the Bloody do for you?"  
  
Dawn looked at him in the hero-worship way once again, "He saved my life."  
  
***  
  
Dawn woke up with a start. It was five in the morning in Prague. She closed her eyes and thought of home. She hadn't been home in a year. She had been found by her watcher. There were martial arts in Japan. There was meditation in Nepal. Each month brought another training exercise. Sometimes it hurt so much, she had been traveling since she was twelve and her parents died. Her watcher was wonderful, but most of the time Dawn just missed having a home.  
  
She woke up with a dream she couldn't really remember. All she knew was that she felt strange.  
  
She stretched and she could feel the muscles ripple under the skin.  
  
Dawn got up and looked at Prague outside of her window.   
  
Tonight was a strange night. There was something in the air. There was something different about tonight.  
  
"Dawn, we need to leave now."  
  
Dawn turned suddenly and saw her watcher, breathless at her bedroom door.  
  
"What is wrong?" Dawn asked wide eyed.  
  
"Please just pack. I'll explain on the way. You have ten minutes."  
  
Dawn knew better than to not listen. There were many times when she knew she could get away with whatever she wanted to do, but not now.  
  
Her watcher already had bags packed. Dawn threw all her clothes and the few possessions that she had into a bag. In a matter of minutes she was ready. The pair headed out of the door and down the stairs.  
  
"Okay, we're going to Master Locke's house. He was killed by vampires a few hours ago. The people here in Prague aren't very happy with anyone who is involved with anything occult. They're looking for the vampires and they are not going to be happy with us being here. They're going to come after us as soon as they would come after the vampires. Without Master Locke's protection we have to leave."  
  
"Why are we going to his place. Why don't we just leave?" Dawn asked panic going through her.  
  
"We need to get some books. They're very rare and the Council really wants them."  
  
Her watcher looked down at her and suddenly saw something in her. She paused her quick steps.  
  
"Dawnie, did something happen tonight?"  
  
Dawn shrugged, "I feel funny, but that is it."  
  
The watcher nodded and continued down the alley way.  
  
They quietly entered Master Locke's studio and they headed to where he kept books. Dawn grabbed a few of Master Locke's best weapons and put them in with her clothes.  
  
Dawn went back into the back where her watcher was. When she entered the room she was startled by the sight that welcomed her. Her watcher was fighting with a blonde vampire.  
  
"Stop," Dawn said lifting up a crossbow to the fighting pair.  
  
The vampire looked up at her.  
  
"Stay out of this little girl," he growled.  
  
Dawn looked at him and aimed. She had never been any good, but it was worth a shot.   
  
"Bloody hell," the vampire said as he saw the arrow enter his arm. Dawn acted faster than she could think. She immediately threw down the crossbow and did a handstand and shot herself at the vampire. She knocked him to the ground and she hit him.  
  
She was momentarily startled. She had never felt so much power behind her punch. She had a vampire pinned down and he was looking up at her with a smirk. She looked at her watcher and she nodded. Dawn realized what the feeling tonight was.  
  
"Hello, we've got us a little slayer," he said in wonder.  
  
Out of the shadows a thin gothic woman stepped. The woman cocked her head, "She's pretty. Can I keep her?"  
  
"Dru," the man said in a nice voice that hid a lot of ice, "Get the book and get out I'll be right there."  
  
The woman smiled, "She brings our doom. Come here pretty child."  
  
Dawn was a bit mesmerized but a crash of glass broke the trance. Through the cracked window she saw an angry mob. They were attacking the house they knew where they were.  
  
"Bullocks," the vampire muttered, "I'm not having any luck."  
  
Dawn looked at them with wide eyes. She may be the brand new Slayer, but she couldn't take on an entire mob, plus they were human. Dawn looked at her watcher for advice, but her words died on her lips.  
  
Her watcher was on the ground with a crossbow arrow through her heart.   
  
"No!" Dawn screamed ignoring the vampire and jumping to the aid of her watcher.  
  
Her watcher said a few words and suddenly Dawn could feel the walls up around the building.  
  
The watcher looked up at her, "It will hold for a few minutes."   
  
The watcher looked over at the vampire.  
  
"You will take her to the Watcher's Council in London," she said softly.  
  
Spike laughed, "Are you daft? Not a bloody chance."  
"Look those people outside cannot tell her from you right now. They will kill her. I need you to take her to England."  
  
"Why would I do that?"  
  
"Because she is the Slayer. If you don't help her you will die tonight. I will help the three of you to get away or we all die here. You cannot get Dru out of here without aid. They will kill her and I will make sure that they kill you."  
  
Spike looked at the two girls waiting. He had always liked life.  
  
"Fine," he said flippantly expecting to drop the new slayer at the first chance.  
  
The watcher grabbed the arm of the vampire.  
  
"I'm expecting you to protect her."  
  
Spike shrugged and said mockingly, in almost a natural reaction, "Until the end of the world, even if it is tonight."  
  
Then suddenly Spike faltered. He heard those words before. They meant something to him once. For one second he wasn't making a promise to a Watcher woman, he was making a promise to green eyes that were so afraid.  
  
"That is something else entirely," the watcher said smilingly. She had bonded the vampire to the slayer. Her would protect her. She had made his words become the future truth, "You will take her where she needs to go."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes.  
  
The watcher closed her eyes, "Go now."  
  
The vampire grabbed Dawn's arm, "I won't leave you."  
  
The watcher looked at the girl she had been with and had learned to care for.  
  
"I love you Dawnie, you're like a daughter to me. Now leave"  
  
Dawn's eyes teared, "I love you Tara."  
  
The vampire grabbed Dawn and looked down at the fallen watcher.  
  
"Start your mojo," he growled and took two women into the night.  
  
***  
  
"The bint wouldn't shut up until we reached England," Spike mocked with a smile on his face  
  
"He told me all about killing slayers," Dawn said wrinkling her nose, "It was very helpful but way too gruesome."  
  
"Spike!!!" Buffy scolded the vampire it seemed like the right thing to do. He always was teaching dawn things she shouldn't know.  
  
He shrugged, "Nibblet asked."  
  
Buffy looked up at him, he remembered the eyes that looked at him in his mind as he made the promise. He had been damned the minute he saw her. He understood what she was asking. He looked at her long and hard.   
  
He still was unsure of what he was willing to give, but when she looked at him like that we wasn't sure that he would resist. 


	11. The Reason We Are Here

a/n: I'm sorry that this is taking so long. I'm in the process of finding a job. I'm drowning in rejection and busyness. I hate the economy, there is nothing, NOTHING. I just would like to work. Sigh. Thank you for reading this rant and thank you for reading this story. Review, make my self-esteem happy.  
  
  
  
The Reason We're Here  
  
  
Dawn snuck quietly into the house in the light of the sitting sun. As she climbed into the window she heard the strumming of a guitar.  
  
Busted, Dawn thought as she went into the window.   
  
Oz was laying on the bed with his guitar laying across his stomach. His eyes were closed and he was gently playing a melody that was hauntingly beautiful. It was the song that Oz had written for her.  
  
Dawn finished her climb in the window and just stared at Oz.  
  
"Sleep well?" Oz asked, not opening his eyes.  
  
"I had some business to do," Dawn said attempting not to be defensive.  
  
Oz opened his eyes and looked at her.  
  
Dawn swallowed hard and went to where Oz was sitting.   
  
"There was something that had to be done that only I could do."  
  
"You could have asked," Oz told her.  
  
Dawn's temper overran her good sense, "You wouldn't have let me. You and Giles would have attempted to find some way of keeping me here. I had to go. There was a definite reason that I had to go. I'm tired of being treated like a child. I'm nineteen, I'm the Slayer. I'm an old Slayer."  
  
Oz looked at her and raised an eyebrow, "You're also sick."  
  
"I'm so close," Dawn said almost begging, "I know this will work. I know that Buffy can do it."  
  
Oz gently rubbed a hand through her hair. She could feel the worry emanating off him.  
  
"I think it's to early…"  
  
"No," Dawn said interrupting him, "I won't listen to you tell me that I'm hoping too much. I'm tired of being sick. It is nice to feel hope again. It makes me alive."  
  
"Do you think Buffy can do it," he asked, carefully guarded.  
  
Dawn nodded, "I know she will give her life to make me better."  
  
Oz looked at the certainty in her young eyes. The blue shone with so much certainty that for a moment he hesitated. He had been by her side as they sought to find a cure. She was so ill she couldn't take more than four blows, at most. If she was up for more than four hours she would turn into the walking dead. She was being killed within her own body.   
  
He was afraid the disappointment from this hope would kill her.  
  
"Dawn I just remember your stint where you were looking for death by vampire."  
  
Dawn bit her lip.  
  
She had spent six months sneaking out of the house. She had gone into cemeteries late at night hoping there was a vampire who would attempt to want to kill a Slayer. After a year of searching there was no way that she could be fixed. However none of the vampires would take her. They laughed at her. She could not beat them and they had direct orders from the Anointed One not to touch her. There was nothing better than an incapacitated Slayer. She couldn't stop them, and there was no chance another would be called. They were safe and Dawn found herself in deep depression.  
  
"I have to have something to cling to," Dawn said softly.  
  
"You do."  
  
Dawn looked at the redhead. He had come into her life when she had entered Sunnydale. He was helping Giles. He was serious and reserved and at that time she was an emotional roller coaster. How they had gotten together was beyond her. His dry wit counterbalanced her craziness.  
  
Dawn smiled and Oz put down his guitar. Dawn snuggled into his shoulder.  
  
She was completely happy with him.  
  
As she attempted to ignore the voices that told her worst fear. She had spent so long as something for him to protect, she worried that maybe when she could hold her own against him that perhaps things would change.  
  
Dawn let go of these thoughts for a moment. She let herself be happy, she had hope and love.  
  
***  
  
"You should go," Spike said realizing that it was almost time for all of the minions to wake up.  
  
Buffy nodded in agreement, "Do you understand the way things are going to go."  
  
Spike nodded, "Yes for the thousandth time I understand."  
  
Buffy got up quickly and went to the door. Spike stood up and looked after her. It had been so long since he had a woman who stood up to him and challenged him. There was something entrancing about a woman who was his equal both physically and personality wise. She challenged him.  
  
"Slayer," he said softly.  
  
Buffy turned and looked at him.  
  
"I know I'm doing this because I have done nothing for the last ten years but protect a sick deranged vampire. I've made promises to keep her safe and now I have to protect a Slayer. Why are you doing this?"  
  
"Why what?" Buffy asked pressing her lips into a line.  
  
"I get why you are helping the helpless, being the Slayer and all. But why are you asking me."  
  
Buffy inhaled deeply.  
  
"No Slayer," Spike said seriously, stepping near her, "Don't lie."  
  
"I'm not going to," she said indignantly.  
  
Spike smiled and came up before her.  
  
"When you lie," he said in a soft voice, "You press your lips together," he traced a thumb across her lips, "Then you take this deep breath and act overly confident your head tilts upwards," he ran a finger along her jaw line, "You seem to believe that you can will people to believe you."  
  
"Do you believe me?" she asked looking into the deep pools of his eyes.  
  
His head moved closer to her face, "I always know when you lie."  
  
He kissed her again. Her back was against the wall and she knew that it would take a bit of pressure in the right places and he would take her. It was in his dreams.  
  
His kiss was a little different though. She didn't feel like pounding him into the floor, she wanted to drown in this.   
  
He pulled away.  
  
"So why do you do this?" he said softly as if he had never kissed her or turned her legs to jelly.  
  
She didn't have the courage to lie.  
  
"Because I've died so many times. I've seen the worst in those I love the most and in myself. Sometimes I just need something to feel alive."  
  
Spike pulled away, "So this is just a game is it Slayer."  
  
Buffy smiled, "I stopped using you awhile ago, William."  
  
With that she slid into the daylight.  
  
***  
  
Buffy had enjoyed patrolling tonight. The vampires were curious about her and they wanted to fight the new girl in town. It was nearly midnight when she got back to her house, but she still had plenty of energy. There was just something about not being ashamed that made her feel giddy to be with him.  
  
She bounded into Giles' courtyard. there was a strange car in the driveway. It seemed somehow familiar.  
  
She opened the door and looked at the visitors.  
  
"Angel?"  
  
  
  
  
a/n: I love everyone who has reviewed this. I know that most of you are B/S shippers. No flames. You've trusted me so far. Keep up the faith. I don't hate Angel though. He will be respected. 


	12. In What World Could We Have Been Friends

Ennui - This one is for you. You seem to be chomping at the bit for a bit of Angel. (although I think you like the Spikey bits)  
  
  
  
In What World Could We Have Been Friends  
  
  
  
Buffy remembered his voice on the phone. It had been awkward, but it was okay. It wasn't real when they talked on the phone. Buffy could remember about two times that they had talked on the phone in the course of their relationship. If he was worried about her he would never call, it was only a visit.  
  
The phone had been easy.  
  
Now she had to stand in front of him.  
  
"Buffy," he said in a trance. He walked towards her and touched her cheek, "You're alive."  
  
She smiled, "Yes I am."  
  
He always reacted the same way, whenever she died.  
  
Then she saw it and it almost made her cry. In his eyes there was none of the shadow of Angelus. He had never been forced into a soul and then reverted then had to deal with the soul again. There was no hundred years of hell. There was no demon that had ever overcome the body.   
  
Angel was still whole, his soul had never been touched. He had never seen the dark side of himself. He didn't have memories of torturing those he had grown to care about.  
  
The Angel that she had first met was scared, was keeping his distance. The Angel she had made love to was a man who was her guardian and protector. The Angel that had threatened her friends and her family was a cold hearted bastard. The Angel that she had sent to hell was as innocent as a child. The Angel who had said good-bye to her was a being who had been torn apart by too many things. The Angel who had been human, who had given her a perfect day was a hero who had the courage to lead with his heart.  
  
Angelus had destroyed her with cruelty and stalking. Angel had destroyed her by loving her and leaving her, twice.  
  
She would recognize Angel anywhere. No matter what he was part of her soul.  
  
She didn't know the creature before her.  
  
He was as sexy as she remembered, but her heart had stopped singing at the sight of him. She hadn't felt giddy in years. When he took away their chance at normalcy he took away any chance that she had that she would ever love him enough to be with him again. She never forgot. It was all part of her dreams.   
  
What's more she could see in his eyes the truth.   
  
This demon didn't dream.  
  
"Well look who the cat dragged in," a voice behind Angel said. The voice meant to be annoying and meant to be the center of attention.  
  
Buffy smiled, "Hey Cordelia."  
  
Buffy then did something that shocked her to the core. It shocked most of the people in the room.  
  
She walked over to Cordelia and gave her a hug.  
  
Cordelia blinked rapidly.  
  
"So we were friends in this alternant-universe Willow is telling me about."  
  
Cordelia looked uncertain.  
  
Buffy wanted to giggle, "In what world could we have been friends."  
  
Cordelia opened her mouth, but Buffy had already turned back to Angel.  
  
"You shouldn't be here. You're making it easier for Spike and the Anointed One to fix the ceremony."  
  
"You're alive," Angel said happily, "I just wanted to make sure."  
  
"We did," Cordelia said going up to him and taking his arm.  
  
Then Buffy saw it. This Angel hadn't ever loved her. He had worshipped her and adored her, but he had no more memory of her than a few months.  
  
  
******  
  
Buffy, Angel and Cordelia sat in the living room talking quietly. At the top of the stairs Oz and Dawn listened.  
  
"That is her ex?" Dawn whispered.  
  
Oz nodded, "I never saw it, but I knew that Angel was hung up on Buffy for a long time."  
  
Dawn wrinkled his nose again, she had liked the chemistry with Spike.  
  
"I don't know what it is with that girl and vampires," Oz muttered.  
  
"I think that she spends so much of her time in cemeteries that she wouldn't know what to do with a guy who took her to the beach. She's different. She'll never have the sweet relationships. She's different."  
  
Dawn looked at her quiet boyfriend, a man who could become a wolf.  
  
"We're slayers. We don't do picnics and picket fences."  
  
She grinned as he turned looked at her.  
  
"We find it in the weirdest of places."  
  
Oz kissed her. When he pulled away he growled.  
  
Dawn loved this. She loved when she was able to make him near his brink of control. She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bedroom.  
  
***  
  
"I lost it years ago," Angel said softly looking at Cordelia.  
  
"What?" Buffy said, her mouth turning into a gaping hole.  
  
Cordelia played with the pillow on the end of the couch.  
  
"It was just after graduation," Angel began hesitantly.  
  
Buffy shook her head, "No it began long before that, didn't it."  
  
Cordelia sighed, "It was mostly my fault. I started hanging out in the library because it was the one place that I felt normal."  
  
"That and Harris was there," Angel interjected.  
  
Cordelia shot him a glance of death, "I went out with Xander for a few months. In those months I saw enough to make it so I didn't ever forget. I knew the darkness under Sunnydale. I couldn't escape. After Xander and I broke up. Then it got worse I was kicked off the cheerleading squad and kind of lost all points of cool at that point. So I started working with the gang and eventually I developed a crush on Angel, to be honest I hit on him."  
  
Angel gave her a look.  
  
"Okay I threw myself at him, booty and all. He constantly rejected me."  
  
This time it was Cordelia's turn to pass along a psychic barb.  
  
"We had a thing ever so briefly then he decided no."  
  
Buffy gave Cordelia a look of sympathy. She could understand the emotions involved. She had lived it.  
  
"Then everything happened so fast. Kendra was killed and we were sent a new Slayer. Kendra already had a watcher, but he was too old to travel from Jamaica. I thought it was just a miscalculation on the part of the Council, I mean who would have a guy watch over a Slayer when the guy was going to be old when his girl got the job, then they told me she was like twenty-four, can you believe that."  
  
"Cordelia," Angel said slightly amused.  
  
"Well anyways, Faith came with Gwendolyn aka Miss Post, aka Miss Stick-up-her-butt, who turned out to be evil. Then came Wesley. I kind of used Wesley to make Angel jealous. That didn't work so well. Wes and I just don't have any chemistry."  
  
Cordelia was making darting glances at Angel. Buffy figured that Wesley was in LA and Cordelia didn't want to rock the boat.  
  
"Then we had mayor-snake graduation and then we celebrated."  
  
Cordelia, Queen of the Cheerleaders then blushed as she realized what she was talking about. Angel had the decency to look down at his hands.  
  
"So--umm, Angel lost his soul."  
  
"Perfect happiness," Buffy whispered.  
  
Angel looked up at her, "Yeah, I guess that is what it was. I mean I spent all this time trying not to love her, trying to reconcile the surface ditz with the girl underneath."  
  
"Hey," Angel said as Cordelia slapped him, "You did have the kind of bitchy thing going."  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrow in surprise, when did Angel call people bitchy?  
  
"Once again not the point," Cordelia said haughtily, she turned back to Buffy, "Angel lost his soul after graduation. He then promptly left."  
  
"It was hard to reconcile," Angel muttered.  
  
Buffy stared deeply at the two of them.  
  
"So you didn't turn evil?"   
  
"No I just had to learn to control my demon," Angel said.  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
Cordelia looked at her skeptically, "What kind of curse would that be if he reverted back to the old evil guy? The curse was their way of changing his persona. He was supposed to learn to be a better person. When he finally reached the plane of greater understanding then he would be released of the soul and encouraged to go on.  
  
Buffy suddenly felt cold pass through her.  
  
"She tracked me down," Angel said softly, "It was then that I realized I had my soul right here.  
  
He was looking at Cordelia smiling. His eyes that shone with complete love.  
  
Buffy couldn't breathe, she bolted for the door. 


	13. Waking Up

a/n: This is the first part. It was getting long and it's getting late and I wanted to leave ya all with another installment.  
  
  
Waking Up  
  
  
Buffy was running, she had no intended place to go. She encountered four vampires and staked them without stopping. She just wanted to escape.  
  
****  
  
She found herself in one of Sunnydale's cemeteries.  
  
"Whistler," she yelled, "Whistler get your scrawny but out here."  
  
The only thing that responded was a bird.  
  
Buffy kicked a gravestone and seriously stubbed her toe.  
  
"Whistler if I you don't come out of here right now I will hunt you down and feed you your own toes."  
  
"Imagery slayer."  
  
Buffy whirled around and saw the little man, leaning on the entrance to a crypt, cleaning his nails.  
  
"You know my job is not to come at your every beck and call."  
  
Buffy raced to him and grabbed him by both of his arms. She hefted him up off his feet.  
  
"Then why are you here?" Buffy asked from between clenched teeth.  
  
Whistler shrugged, "Because I have nothing better to do."  
  
Buffy slammed him against the wall again.  
  
"Ouch, be nice I came," Whistler said rolling his neck.  
  
"I want to go back," she growled, "There is no point of me being here. Everything is perfect here. Everyone is happy without me."  
  
Whistler chuckled, "You see things as they are now. You've never been one for the big picture."  
  
"Let me go back to dreaming. I can't do any better everyone is happy here."  
  
Whistler looked at where her hands held his arms.  
  
"Do you think you can let me down. I think its time for round two of explanations."  
  
"With you that doesn't sound too encouraging," Buffy said coldly, dropping him to the ground.  
  
Whistler sat on the ground looking up at her, "So what is your problem."  
  
Buffy kicked at the ground, "I want to go back. They're all happy. They all lived happier without me. They don't need me. Even to make Dawn better, I mean she knows Spike, he'll help her."  
  
"Doll-face, don't you think that we know everything that you say?"  
  
Buffy looked at him, daggers in her eyes, "Well then why am I here?"  
  
"Because you need to be. You didn't deserve to die when you did. This is partially amends, but it is something else. You missed so many years of pain. We just wanted to give you something wonderful."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "I feel so happy."  
  
"Okay since this didn't stick lets just get on with your question."  
  
"So you're not going to tell me."  
  
Whistler shrugged, "Nope."  
  
Buffy sighed, "Well you know what I am sick of this. Willow and Xander are together because I wasn't there to draw Xander's attention. Dawn is this amazingly strong woman without me. Giles still has a purpose. Everything is so happy because I'm not here."  
  
Tears blinded her eyes, but she barely noticed.  
  
"I'm just here to see how much they didn't really need me."  
  
Whistler looked at her sadly. He was moved. This little girl was so confused. It came from her knowing only one side, one world.  
  
"Do you want to see what you missed?"  
  
Buffy shrugged, "Only if I can go home afterwards."  
  
"You choose after you see."  
  
****  
  
They all stood at the graveside. Figures dressed in black. A stone that proclaimed that Buffy Summers once lived. Now all there was left was a body buried in the ground.  
  
They all simply stood.  
  
There were no tears.  
  
****  
  
"They didn't cry at my funeral?" Buffy squeaked.  
  
Whistler looked at her, "Wait."  
  
****  
  
The night after the funeral was bleak.  
  
Giles sat alone in a half lit room. With a bottle of Whiskey. He remained in that chair for two days.  
  
Willow and Xander sat in Willow's bedroom with a bowl of popcorn. They held each other zombie eyed as they watched Indian soap operas.  
  
Angel sat on the steps leading up to the lit world of day. He looked up into the tilted sunlight.  
  
Still none of them cried.  
  
****  
  
"So they were sad after my death so what?" Buffy muttered, yet she was touched by the way that all of them had cared so deeply.  
  
Whistler, reading her thoughts, said nothing.  
  
****  
  
"That girl is impossible." Giles said pacing in the library.  
  
Xander, Willow, and Cordelia were sitting around the library they looked up at him, familiar with this rant.  
  
"She won't do anything without first coming to me and asking my permission. Then she can't do anything outside of the box. She follows the Slayer Manual as if it is the absolute. I cannot stand all of this hand holding. She is protecting the world, the least she could do is think on her own."  
  
"I know Giles," Willow sighed, "She is completely unimaginative."  
  
"And she is so uptight, I bet she keeps her steak in her…"  
  
"Xander behave," Willow chastised.  
  
Xander looked innocent, "Well it is true."  
  
"So you don't have to say it," Willow said.  
  
"I can't stand this anymore!" Cordelia yelled, "it's the same everyday. You can't stand Kendra. However everyday instead of any of you trying to teach her or get to know her you just bitch about her. I can't take this any more. You guys hate her for one reason, and we all know what that is."  
  
"Cordy, I think now is not the time," Xander said coolly.  
  
Cordelia looked at him and tilted her chin.  
  
"You all hate her because she isn't Buffy."  
  
"Get out," Giles said in a rough voice.  
  
Cordelia slowly pushed back her chair and looked at all of them.  
  
"You all are so caught up with your 'Buffy is the best and only Slayer' that you can't see anything else. When she died all of you lost hope. Do you guys even notice anything any more?"  
  
Cordelia looked around the room at the three people who wouldn't even speak to her.  
  
"Okay since I'm so welcome here I'm gonna leave you with some fun facts that no one wants to say to you."  
  
She turned to Giles, "You are not fooling anyone. You're tea cup reeks of whiskey."  
  
Giles looked at her and pursed his lips. Then he drank the rest of his cup of "tea" just to spite her.  
  
"Little miss Brainiac," Cordelia said to Willow, "You need to wake up. You walk through all of your days in a daze. You barely passed your classes last semester. You're going to fail out if you aren't careful."  
  
Willow couldn't even look up at her.  
  
"And you," she said turning to Xander, tears full in her eyes, "You are the worst. Because you hide in the dark and kiss me to forget. Every chance you get you hold on to me. You're using me."  
  
Cordelia swung around to the door, but she stopped and turned again. There were tears falling down her face.  
  
"Buffy is dead. You guys aren't."  
  
With that she turned and walked out of the room  
  
***  
  
"Do you know what you meant when you told Cordelia that you guys could never be friends?" Whistler asked.  
  
Buffy shook her head.  
  
"It simply means that you know that she was just like you. A cheerleader who could be amazing given half a chance. You knew that Angel could love her. That is why in a million lifetimes you will never be friends with her. You two are too much alike."  
  
****  
  
That night, the night that they hated Cordelia more than anything, was the first night that Giles, Xander and Willow cried. In the darkness they shed the tears for a girl who had given her life for them. 


	14. Waking Up, Part II

Waking Up (cont.)  
  
****  
  
Cordelia walked into the Bronze. It was Friday night, but people mostly chose to stay in these days. It was summer and there were throngs of people out during the day, but most people didn't want to stay. Cordelia was having a bad day. Her father had IRS problems and her mother had begun to see many doctors and gather many pills. Summer vacation had begun and everything was just horrible.  
  
Cordelia hated the fact that she knew why. She was among the select few who knew exactly why Sunnydale was going to hell.  
  
The Slayer was dead and any one else who knew didn't care enough to do anything.  
  
The vampires were winning.  
  
****  
  
"I'm very disappointed young lady," Shelia Rosenberg looked from the paper in her hands to her daughter.  
  
"Willow how are you ever going to get into college with these grades?"  
  
Willow shrugged. She had stopped caring. The tears had started, but she still felt lost  
  
Shelia had done everything to get her daughter to work on her grades. All Willow had done was stare into the distance.  
  
"Since you don't seem to be caring about much then I'll make the decision for you," Shelia said haughtily, "You are going to go to summer school at a private school in New England. You will get wonderful grades or you will be sent to a very strict Jewish school in LA."  
  
The only response that Shelia received was a shrug.  
  
"Good. Then the only thing left is that you will never see that friend Xander again. I tolerate him because he never seemed to have any adverse effect on you. Obviously you were not able to withstand the dementia from the Harris clan. I forbid you to see him again."  
  
Willow looked up at her mother with dull eyes. Willow didn't want to explain. She didn't want to tell her mother that she had seen another Slayer killed. She didn't want to put up a fight. It just wasn't worth it anymore.  
  
Willow left the next day without saying good-bye.  
  
****  
  
Buffy turned to Whistler, "You're making this up!"  
  
Whistler shook his head, "This is what is real."  
  
****  
  
Giles' house looked like a bomb had hit it and it smelled worse.  
  
"I let two die," he muttered and passed out.  
  
***  
  
Xander was really alone. That was new.  
  
There had always been Jesse and Willow. Jesse had turned un-dead. Willow had left without saying good-bye.  
  
Xander sat on the battered couch that had been in his house all of his life. It was stained and it was gross, but it was home.  
  
Home was a nasty word to him. It was a place where he was miserable. Harsh ugly words were thrown around like there was no tomorrow.  
  
Xander looked down.  
  
For them there was no tomorrow.  
  
Xander stared and waited.  
  
The television lit the room in a blue glow.  
  
When they rose, they fell to dust. Xander thought that maybe something would be different this time.  
  
It wasn't though.  
  
Jesse had fallen to dust.  
  
Now his parents were all over the carpet, just like any other vampire.  
  
And Xander was alone for the first time in his life.  
  
****  
  
All over town children disappeared. Parents were found dead. Humans were loosing.  
  
****  
  
"That is what you've never seen Slayer," Whistler said quietly, "The bigger picture. Your Sunnydale has 24,000 happy inhabitants that sleep soundly at night knowing they are protected. This Sunnydale, the real Sunnydale has 18,000 people. Lots of deaths and people moving away. Plus no one really wants to move here."  
  
Buffy wiped away her tears.  
  
"Please just show me how it changed, I need to know," Buffy whispered.  
  
****  
  
Cordelia walked into the Bronze and saw Angel. She marched right over to him without a second thought.  
  
"You're a vampire, can you answer me a question."  
  
Angel looked down at the girl and felt a smile for the first time in a long time.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Cordelia flipped her hair back.  
  
"Why can't the vampires kill losers?"  
  
Angel looked at her and raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Well what I mean is that I realize that I made a mistake forsaking all that I am in order to play kissy face with Xander Harris, I mean that was foolish. I got so involved in those sessions in the boiler room that I completely forgot about popularity. Then one day I get a wake up call. Then the next day the freak of a Slayer gets herself killed. That is all good, but then the vampires come in droves. They've taken all the Cordettes. Meanwhile the loser patrol is doing nothing although it is their duty to save the innocent, yadda, yadda. I just want to know why they can't be killed off instead of the geeks. I mean I do more to save the world these days."  
  
Angel looked surprised, "You patrol?"  
  
"You really should try more facial expressions, they work on you," Cordelia said approvingly, "No I don't' patrol, but I'm smart enough to find a purse that fits a stake."  
  
"Impressive."  
  
Cordelia rolled her eyes, "It's obnoxious. I mean I am looking forward to senior year, prom queen and all that, but my friends are dead and there is no one to do something about it."  
  
"Do you want coffee?" Angel asked suddenly.  
  
Cordelia looked at him, it was her turn to be startled, "I guess."  
  
Angel smiled at her and Cordelia felt it in her toes.  
  
****  
  
"No comment?" Whistler asked.  
  
Buffy blinked back the tears, "I just thought he would wait for me at least a few years after my death. I meant the guy is immortal."  
  
"Buffy he did wait until you were dead. It took the beautiful Ms. Chase two years before he would give her the time of day."  
  
****  
  
"Giles," Willow called wading through his house.  
  
"Here."  
  
It was a weak reply, but it was a reply none the less.   
  
Willow took one look at Giles and her heart fell. He looked horrible. The usually pristine apartment Giles kept was in disarray. Willow had seen the alcoholic binges in the apartment. The transformation from that den was almost as amazing. He had attempted to push that away and now there were books everywhere.  
  
Giles looked at Willow with scared eyes.  
  
"You came," he said simply.  
  
Willow nodded, "Of course, what is it that you need."  
  
"It's Dawn. She's sick." Giles said nervously, "I need you to help me. Sunnydale will fall under demon rule if we don't do something. I need you to help me."  
  
Willow bit her lip, "What do you want from me?"  
  
"I need you to help me fight the vampires."  
  
Willow suddenly looked scared, "I, I can't Giles. I have school…"  
  
Giles looked at her in desperation, "I can't let another Slayer die. I can't stand it."  
  
His guilt was apparent. He had only given Kendra and Faith half a chance. He felt like he had allowed them to die. If only he had worked harder. Underneath those was an undertone. He had felt like he had ordered Buffy to death, instead of the reality that she was destined to follow the child into hell. No amount of training could change that.  
  
Willow didn't have the words to comfort him. Words were inadequate. This man needed something more. This man needed her help.  
  
"I can't do this alone." Willow began, Giles looked crestfallen.  
  
"Can you and the Council pull get Xander out of the Marines early? He needs to come back too."  
  
Giles gave her a grateful smile.  
  
"You are willing to help?" he asked.  
  
Willow could have told him of how bored she was in her mundane life. How much she missed Xander and Sunnydale. She could go on how empty her life seemed in the hallowed halls. The pristine world of the ivy league left her feeling as if there really was no purpose to any of it. All those kids were learning things from books that were reprinted and mass produced. What she had learned, what she knew came from books that were utterly unique. Books these people would scoff at for being childish. Books that kept the world in existence.  
  
She didn't explain, for Giles already knew. He had found the same listlessness in the halls of Oxford.  
  
"Hey anybody can go to Princeton. How many get to help the Slayer?"  
  
Willow plugged in her lap top and began to help Giles with a way to find the cure to Dawn. An hour later Willow met Oz, Dawn's boyfriend. The three of them looked and looked. A month later Xander came home and they continued to look. Dawn got sicker and sicker.  
  
They never stopped looking, but hope was beginning to escape.  
  
***  
  
"If you need an answer to what you are doing here let that be it. You are the hope that they have lost. They haven't had it easy and they have no reason to trust. But you give them hope."  
  
"Xander's parents are dead?" Buffy asked weakly.  
  
Whistler nodded, "Yeah, poor kid never graduated high school. GED. He had to work his way and then he just gave up and decided for the Marines. The worst though is the witch. She doesn't even know she is a witch."  
  
"What?" Buffy exclaimed.  
  
Whistler shrugged, "Well how would she, she only learned of her power when you needed her to restore Angel's soul. That is when the redhead realized she was more than just a girl."  
  
Buffy rubbed her temples, "Could you do me a favor and write all of this up in some kind of brochure. I'd like that. It would help."  
  
"Sorry kiddo no cookie."  
  
"I was the chosen one. This isn't fair I don't want to be chosen again," Buffy pouted, "Isn't that against he rules anyway?"  
  
"We made an entire day disappear," Whistler pointed out, "I think we can call you twice."  
  
Buffy rolled his eyes, "Thanks so much for letting me remember that now."  
  
"So do you want to go back and see what awaits you this time?" Whistler asked.  
  
"Do I have a choice?"  
  
"Everybody has a choice."  
  
"Will I dream again?"  
  
Whistler shook his head, "You're done dreaming. You either live or die now."  
  
Buffy looked at him, "You've given me a choice. Now I get to choose."  
  
She stalked away from her. Her tears still hadn't dried on her face. She held her head high and her spine was straight.  
  
Whistler watched her, "That is one great girl. I think that she can do it." 


	15. The End of a Really Bad Day

Buffy was tired of walking. She sat on a grave and let her feet sway. She wasn't ready to go home right yet. She was all too confused.  
  
"So this is what a Slayer does," a British voice said mockingly.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "I've had a bad night. Let's not start."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, "I've had a loony bint tantrum and a little wanker power trip. What have you got."  
  
"An ex with the new love of his life."  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Looks like you need this as much as I do," he said offering her a bottle.  
  
Buffy eyed the bottle skeptically.  
  
"C'mon Slayer. I promise no kittens. Just a little drinking."  
  
Buffy smiled. He had no clue what he was talking about, people did that a lot they just said things when she was around.  
  
Buffy shrugged, "I guess drinking in the cemetery with a vampire would be the perfect end to my day."  
  
She took a swig and let the warm liquid swarm down her throat. She closed her eyes while the liquor eased the tightness in her muscles. It made her stomach tingle.  
  
When she opened her eyes she saw Spike looking at her with approval.   
  
His eyes were midnight. She never noticed the way his eyes were so dark when there was no light. They were dark, with the shine of a flashlight. She could feel the beams.  
  
"Pull up a tombstone and join the mopey party," Buffy said brightly.  
  
Spike took a swig from the bottle.  
  
"How's the little one doing?" Spike asked.  
  
Buffy shrugged, "She's okay. She is so happy that she is going to get better. Today she was telling Willow and Xander…"  
  
"What is a Willow and Xander," Spike interrupted.  
  
"They're my friends."  
  
"Did you purposely seek out friends with names odder than yours."  
  
Buffy laughed, "Well Xander is actually Alexander and Willow isn't that an abnormal of a name."  
  
"Willow," Spike said as if he was trying out a name, "Were her parents hippies?"  
  
Buffy couldn't imagine anything further from reality, "No they are classic Hellmouth parents. Oblivious to a fault."  
  
They passed around the bottle again.  
  
"So Slayer, what happened with the ex?"  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "He's back. Some girl made him happy. The bitch Queen of my high school. I mean they are together. He loves her."  
  
"Still in love with him?"   
  
Spike asked her idly. He leaned against the gravestone and reached up to twist a curl of her hair around his fingers.  
  
"No. I was forced to get over him a long time ago, but she succeeded where I failed."  
  
"Wasn't meant to be luv." Spike said softly. His   
  
He was so close.  
  
"Its just that Angel…"  
  
Spike's lazy motions suddenly disappeared. He pulled away from her.  
  
"You're talking about Angelus?" Spike asked through clenched teeth.  
  
Buffy wanted to smack herself.  
  
"You dated Angelus. Christ Slayer do you know what you are? You're supposed to kill vampires."  
  
Buffy suddenly got angry.  
  
"Maybe I should start right now," she said reaching for a stake.  
  
"You have to be the most peculiar girl. You're chosen, but you decide to make-out with vampires? Is this some kind of turn on?"  
  
"No I'm just a groupie for the Order of Arelius. I was thinking of going for Dru next." Buffy said her voice dripping with sarcasm  
  
They were standing toe to toe.  
  
"You're stupid, that is what you are."  
  
"And you're jealous. Just because you're not the first."  
  
Spike grabbed her roughly and shoved her head to the side.  
  
"Looks like I am," he said menacingly.  
  
It took Buffy a moment before she realized what he was saying. She raised a hand to her neck. It felt odd. For the first time she felt only the soft skin of her neck. There was no Angel or Dracula. There was no imprint of even the Master.  
  
Spike pushed her away and took another swig of the tequila."  
  
"I don't care though. Be a vamp toy. So Angelus is in town? Looks like Dru will get better."  
  
Buffy glared at him.  
  
"What luv, don't you remember the reason I'm in town. I'm going to get Dru better and leave this awful place. Well after curing the other Slayer and killing the Annoying One. Our deal had nothing to do with Angelus."  
  
Buffy really wanted to hit him. Instead she took the bottle and drank a considerable amount of the amber liquid.  
  
"I'm not a vamp toy," she muttered.  
  
"Right. You seem to just love it that I get all close to you and then you just happen to let me kiss you. What is it about vampires that turns you on?"  
  
"You stupid.." Buffy felt her anger explode, "It isn't vampires that turn me on, its you."  
  
Buffy had gotten used to seeing him shocked, but this was new. It seemed that all of the ability to move had been drained from his body.  
  
"You are admitting that," he asked.  
  
"Would you believe me if I told you that the only reason that I'm here is to take care of you?"  
  
Spike smiled a lewd smile, "If that means that you're going to make me hot chocolate and put Wheatabix in my blood count me in."  
  
His voice was velvety soft, there were great implications to what else he'd like for her to take care of.  
  
Spike was before her and everything seemed pretty good. The alcohol made everything tingle.  
  
"So Slayer, since we both had bad days, I've got a great way of forgetting," he said arching his eyebrow.  
  
Buffy smiled, "Well I know this crypt nearby. I think we can think of something."  
  
*****  
  
"There is something wrong," the Anointed One told his minions.  
  
He looked up at the ceiling of the sunken church. His hands rested on his knee. His eyes were squinted deep in thought. He seemed to be listening to something that none of the other vamps could hear.   
  
Everyone feared this child.  
  
"The new Slayer thinks she is in control. She is plotting to overthrow me. However she knows little."  
  
The little child smiled a smile that was disturbingly out of place.  
  
"I remember when father had to deal with her. This one is very cunning and very good."  
  
The Anointed One shrugged.  
  
"It matters not. I know how to do this. I will be victorious."  
  
The Anointed One looked to the nearest minion.   
  
"Bring her in."  
  
The minions brought in a dreamy figure. Once in the room the woman gave a deranged smile.  
  
"Lookie, the child has such pretty colors," Dru said coming up to the Anointed One.  
  
The child smiled, "I win." 


	16. Reality

a/n: Guys just for the record and the behind the scenes info I believe that Spike was bitten by Dru, but drank Angelus' blood and everything that this relationship implies. Including the fact that Angelus was the one to teach Spike the proper role of vampire. This is not really involved in my story, but I think that is what drives the relationship of the two.  
  
PS: I think that if you like my interesting way of looking at things, you should try out my story of Oz called "My whole life"  
  
******  
  
  
  
Spike woke up. He was warm. Temperature wasn't pleasant or uncomfortable. It simply was something he could gage. It was much the same with smell and the other senses.  
  
Spike looked down at the sleeping girl next to him. She warm and so beautiful.  
  
Then suddenly he felt it. It was a pinprick sensation something was very wrong. He had always listened to his vampire senses. He could feel something in the floor below the crypt.  
  
"Get up," he growled, poking at the Slayer.  
  
Buffy looked at him groggily. He cupped her face gently. His thumb stroked her cheek tenderly. His words didn't match his caring gestures.  
  
"Get your clothes on," he growled.  
  
Buffy looked down at her fully clothed body and blinked.  
  
She had the distinct memory of passing out. She was out of sorts from all of the drinking last night, however she knew something was wrong.  
  
He took his hand from her face and ripped off her shirt.  
  
Buffy felt her heart pound she was scared of this. It held too many memories. She remembered the bathroom floor and his hands clawing at her clothes. She recoiled from him. She couldn't stand this again.  
  
However his eyes weren't full of desperation. They were full of wide eyed begging. She was scared. She couldn't move. She couldn't comprehend anything her head wouldn't let her think.  
  
"Now that I shagged me a Slayer, lets see how you taste."  
  
Buffy shook her head. She knew what it felt like to wake up after sex with Spike. She didn't feel the glow of post-orgasm. She didn't even feel sore. She was sure that they hadn't had sex. She was clothed and she knew that usually she didn't put her leather pants on after sex, unless she was leaving.  
  
Then he vamped out and leaned in towards her neck.  
  
"Forgive me," he said in a voice that was so low she didn't even know if he had really said it.  
  
He ripped her bra and threw it on the floor next to her shirt and pulled his duster to cover her still buttoned leather pants. He didn't even look at her exposed skin.   
  
Then Buffy heard it. There was some one coming up from the lower level of the crypt. This was a vampire. A very strong vampire.  
  
Then Spike's teeth dug into her neck.  
  
She screamed.   
  
The sound echoed throughout the crypt and Spike winced. He was sure that everyone in Sunnydale could hear it.  
  
"Stay down," he said under her scream, and threw her ruthlessly to the tomb that they had slept on. Her breast were exposed and Buffy fought the urge to cover them. She could feel the blood dripping down her neck and the leather made her stomach itch. Her hair was over her face and itched so bad. Her neck was very much exposed.  
  
She heard Spike take off his shirt and throw it. Then he walked slowly over to the shirt.  
  
"So I was worried when you didn't come home last night."  
  
Buffy held back a shiver. It was the twisted voice of the Anointed One.  
  
"Nice of you to care," Spike said sarcastically.  
  
"I want you to come with me."  
  
Spike picked up his shirt, "I'm tired. I was up all night."  
  
*I'm going to stake him when I get him alone* Buffy thought attempting not to breathe. His voice was so full of intent.  
  
Buffy could feel the little child's gaze on her body. That was definitely repulsive.  
  
"It doesn't matter. You will come now."  
  
Spike groaned and she could hear him putting on his shirt.  
  
"Fine little thing, lets go."  
  
Spike said rushing the child to the door.  
  
"Are we going to get to chant?" Spike asked with mock interest as they lowered themselves down.  
  
****  
  
Buffy laid still. She had felt them leave, but she didn't want to move.  
  
Something had happened. She had no idea what.  
  
Finally after an hour she got up. She was stiff and beginning to get hung over.  
  
She looked down at her bra. That was useless. She picked it up and put it in the pocket of the duster. She put on her shirt and shrugged into the duster.  
  
She smiled.   
  
The jacket smelled like cigarettes and tequila. It was a soft warm smell.  
  
She slipped into the sunshine  
  
****  
  
"Buffy!" Dawn exclaimed, "I was so worried."  
  
Dawn wrapped her arms around Buffy.  
  
Angel got up from the couch and looked at her.  
  
Buffy smiled, "I'm sorry for warring you. I just needed a breath of air."  
  
Angel stiffened. He caught sight of the marks on his neck.  
  
Buffy went on, not noticing his astonishment.  
  
"Where is everyone?"  
  
Dawn looked down, "They all went out to breakfast. At least I think. They usually do. I just sleep. This is the meeting that I miss. They feel the need to do this. Just to go over all the things that went on last night. Angel stayed. He has a daylight issue."  
  
Buffy nodded and yawned.  
  
Angel looked at her with piercing eyes .  
  
"Dawnie," Buffy said pleasantly, "I think I need to talk to Angel."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes, "I figured as much."  
  
Dawn pranced up the stairs.  
  
Angel came towards her and looked at the marks on her neck.  
  
"Spike."   
  
It wasn't a question it was a growl.  
  
"He saved my life," Buffy informed him.  
  
Angel reached out and tilted her head. He looked at the marks on her neck.  
  
"He claimed you."  
  
Buffy looked at him astounded.  
  
"No, he didn't. All these marks mean is that he bit me."  
  
Angel looked at her, glaring.  
  
"When a vampire bites any one, he claims them. It is even when he doesn't turn them."  
  
Buffy's brow wrinkled.  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Are you a vampire? Do you know these things?"  
  
Buffy looked at Angel in defiance. She remembered that he had bit her after his grandsire had. Then she remembered that that time had been not been consensual on his part.   
  
*Maybe that is why he was so opposed* she considered her heart dropping. She had thought the reason stemmed out of love.  
  
"You're his territory now," Angel growled.  
  
Buffy felt peed on. She was just like a piece of property that a dog had claimed. That is what Dracula had done. He had tried to top the Order of Angelus.  
  
"Well that is great, I'm tired."  
  
Angel grabbed her arm.  
  
"The Buffy I know doesn't take things like this so lightly."  
  
Buffy shook him off.  
  
"Well the Angel that I knew was a little less grabby."  
  
Angel looked at her long and hard.   
  
"I loved you," he said softly.  
  
Buffy looked at him feeling tears fill her eyes, "Well I will always love you."  
  
Angel shook his head.  
  
"What did I do."  
  
Buffy smiled sadly.  
  
"You left me."  
  
Angel nodded.  
  
"You didn't come after me?"  
  
Buffy realized where Cordelia had won.  
  
"My place is here."  
  
Angel finally understood.  
  
"And mine isn't."  
  
****  
  
Spike waited for the Anointed One and marveled at the cockiness of this child.  
  
Buffy had managed to lower her breathing and heart rate. The child hadn't noticed. Spike wouldn't have unless he had been carefully monitoring. The Slayer talents extended a great deal. Fortunately the little twit didn't know him well enough to notice that he had left his duster.  
  
He felt bad about leaving the Slayer alone. He was scared of what would happen. He knew that the Anointed One hadn't noticed who she was.   
  
He didn't feel so bad about the bite. It had been heavenly and he hadn't wanted to stop. She tasted like the sunshine that he had not seen in a hundred and twenty years.  
  
He held back a smile and waited.   
  
****  
  
"So when did you realize that you loved him?" Buffy asked Willow.  
  
Willow giggled.  
  
"Freshman year."  
  
Buffy laughed, "You take too long girl. I told you to seize the day."  
  
"I did," Willow protested, "I just waited a few years to seize the day."  
  
The girl fest with ice-cream suddenly was interrupted by a knock at the door.  
  
Buffy laughed again, "I think that it is another part of my past ready to show me what is different."  
  
Willow laughed, "Yeah it is probably Jonathan."  
  
Buffy opened the door.  
  
There stood Spike.  
  
"Slayer, they've got Dru. Help. Please."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
What do you think? Please review. I miss your words. 


	17. Sire and Childe

a/n: This chapter is one that wasn't in my outline. This is for Amy, who kind of pointed out the revelation that Buffy has at the end of the chapter and who begged and begged for a bit of Spike and Angel. Hopefully it was done without bashing Angel.  
  
  
  
  
*****  
  
Willow looked wide eyed at the blonde vampire in the door.  
  
"Come in," Buffy said. This was surreal. He had come to her for help once before. She had made him beg. Now she was willing simply to let him come in.  
  
Times change.  
  
He came barreling in and sat on the couch, his head in his hands.  
  
"Dawn," Buffy called up the stairs. She prayed that everyone else who was cohabitating in Giles' small house would remain in the basement where they were doing their research.  
  
Dawn came scampering down the stairs. She looked tired. Oz had been trying to encourage her to get some sleep, but Buffy had the feeling that she was reading underneath her blankets.  
  
"Dawnie, we've got a problem."  
  
Spike looked up at the Slayers and shook his head.  
  
"I know this is wrong," he said bluntly, "But you two are the only ones that I can come to for help."  
  
Buffy nodded and sat down next to him.  
  
"We understand. It's okay. Just give me a minute with Dawn."  
  
Dawn and Buffy went into the kitchen and had a low conversation. Spike could still hear them, but he looked at the red head.  
  
"You Willow?" he asked.  
  
Willow nodded and fought the urge to move away from him. She didn't like the fact that there was a vampire sitting next to her on the couch. It was one thing to have Angel downstairs, but having Spike here was something else entirely. She calmed herself with the idea that a vampire would have to be a fool to bite anyone in a Watcher's house with two Slayers in the other room and a heard of hunters in the basement.  
  
"Is that your real hair color?" Willow blurted out.  
  
Spike let out a sad chuckle, "Is that yours?"  
  
Willow put a hand up to her hair, "Umm, kind of."  
  
Spike shrugged, "Same here."  
  
Willow allowed herself to inch closer.  
  
"It doesn't seem that platinum blonde is the most predatory."   
  
"Really?" Spike asked, "It really is. Its all about intimidation. That and great fighting skills."  
  
Buffy laughed as she came back into the room, "Right. Where you gonna get those?"  
  
Spike looked at her and his eyes went instantly to her neck. He stood up and went to her.  
  
He licked his lips as his fingers traced over the mar on her perfect skin.  
  
Buffy had a hard time concentrating on anything except for the images of what he did to her when he had that hungry look in his eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said softly.  
  
They both knew what he was sorry for. He wasn't sorry that he had tasted her, he was simply sorry that he didn't have permission.  
  
Spike's hand was still tracing patterns on her neck and Buffy was completely lost in the blue of his eyes.  
  
"You claimed me," she said softly.  
  
Spike tried to look innocent, but there was a smile in his eyes.  
  
"I saved your life."  
  
Buffy snorted, "So that is an excuse to make your mark on me."  
  
"I don't need an excuse," Spike said softly.  
  
"All I need is a stake."  
  
"That is getting old. Why don't you play me another tune."  
  
"This is classy," Angel interrupted sarcastically. Dawn and Willow jumped. They were completely entranced by the banter of Spike and Buffy. The chemistry between the pair had drawn them in.  
  
Angel moved from the open door of the basement library, "You flirt with the girl you just claimed an you expect her to rescue your mate."  
  
Spike looked at him and bit down on the sides of his cheeks, "Just like it was classy of you to bring the new girl when you learn of the old one coming back. You're a class act, must be where I get it from."  
  
Spike cocked his head, "Sides, Dru is your mate, not mine." Spike tapped his head, "I remember you pounding that into my head a couple of times."  
  
Buffy looked at the two vampires. She couldn't remember ever seeing them together when they were both conscious. She knew that the air between her and Spike simply vibrated. The air between Spike and Angel shimmered.  
  
There was hatred and tension. Underneath that was the bond of Childe and Sire. Spike looked like he did not like the dominance that Angel could have over him. He was like wayward child. Angel looked at Spike, trying to reconcile his choice to be good without a soul, with the desire to exert the Sire claim.  
  
Angel let out a subconscious growl.  
  
Buffy decided that it was time to step in.  
  
"Boys, boys, Giles will be really angry if you spill blood. On his freshly cleaned carpets. He is kind of out of it with the carpet cleaners."  
  
Neither vampire looked away from the other, but they resigned themselves to her words.  
  
"We are declaring a temporary peace. This is the Treaty of Giles, only fitting since we are in his house. You two will not have to get along, but there are two things I require of you."  
  
Buffy held up a finger and looked at Spike.  
  
"One is that all plotting to use or abuse or anything that involves the other person, including but not limited to ensuring loony vampresses are cured from sicknesses, will not happen for one week. After said week you may go back to destroying each other."  
  
Buffy raised a second finger next to the first.  
  
"Two. There is to be a hiatus from the wonderful bond you two have. I've seen the dominance struggle too many times. You two will temporarily forget that you are related, at least when you are with me or the Scoobies."  
  
"Scoobies?' Willow whispered to Dawn.  
  
Dawn shrugged, "I think that she means us, but I don't know."  
  
"So you two will attempt to be normal."  
  
Angel looked away from Spike and looked at Buffy.  
  
"That is impossible."  
  
"Really?" Buffy said crossing her arms, "Why?"  
  
"Its who we are. You can't just expect us to forget."  
  
"You can for a moment. Trust me."  
  
Angel looked at Spike with a glare.  
  
"You claimed her, you explain."  
  
"Hey," Buffy interrupted, "There is no talk of claiming. I do not belong to anyone."  
  
Angel motioned towards Spike.  
  
Spike inhaled and then exhaled, at times Buffy could almost imagine him human.  
  
"Big gel fiend over there is right. He turned me. Therefore I am his childe. You can't turn it off."  
  
Spike said each word like it was a piece of dirt. He did not want to admit such things.  
  
Buffy just shrugged.  
  
"Well I don't care. I have a little mini war with an obnoxious child to wage. I would really like you two not to kill each other. I don't need infighting."  
  
"I don't see much harm in killing him, why should I?" Spike said with a pout.  
  
Buffy thought for a moment.  
  
"Because I know how to do the Dru ritual where he doesn't die."  
  
Spike shrugged, "I don't mind if he dies."  
  
Buffy glared at him, "Well you know what, it will be a lot easier to catch him if you promise not to kill him. Besides isn't there a rule against killing your sire."  
  
Spike smiled evilly, "If your sire is a traitor then it is okay. In fact it actually is better that you kill a traitorous sire."  
  
Buffy put her hand to her head, "Of course." she said sarcastically. "Do they give you a rule book when you are turned."  
  
"No oral tradition," Giles said. He was coming up from the basement, his nose stuck in a book. He didn't look up as he made his way to the kitchenette, "However there is a book that a vampire wrote in the twelfth century. It has all the rules in it. It's a pity that you can't read Latin."  
  
Giles had poured himself a cup of tea, gotten a cookie, and made that speech without looking up.  
  
"Is he really reading?" Dawn asked.  
  
Willow nodded, "It's really creepy how he does that."  
  
Balancing everything Giles walked through the living room again. He stopped midway and looked at Spike.  
  
"Another vampire."  
  
Giles shook his head, "I am becoming vamp central. I hope that the council doesn't find out."  
  
Then Giles walked back into the basement.  
  
The vampires had just stared. When Giles left the room it was as if they suddenly had energy once again.  
  
"So basically as head of the bloody Order, now that Darla and the Master are dead, he has great fatherly rights. They don't go on vacation."  
  
"What he's trying to say," Angel interrupted obviously impatient, "Is that I own him."  
  
Spike looked ready to hurt someone.  
  
"Well you will lease him out to his own services for the next couple of days."  
  
Buffy looked determinedly at them. There was no mistake. They would follow her.  
  
Angel thought for a moment then nodded.  
  
"Good, now we do plan stuff."   
  
Buffy stomped out of the room, knowing the two would follow.  
  
Willow and Dawn looked at each other in surprise.  
  
"That was just weird," Dawn said slowly.  
  
"I know," Willow agreed, "Vampires are so much like animals when it comes to territory."  
  
"Now Buffy is involved?" Dawn asked.  
  
Willow nodded then her eyes widened.  
  
"Oh my god, Buffy belongs to Spike and Spike belongs to Angel. That means that Buffy belongs to Angel!"  
  
The girls collapsed on the couch giggling.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
PS-Review me please 


	18. Working Out

a/n: Now for everyone waiting for a Spikey/Buffy moment, here it is.  
  
  
  
  
******  
  
"In exactly twelve hours we will go in," Giles said rubbing the bridge of his nose.  
  
Everyone nodded.   
  
"So I suggest sleep," Oz said yawning.  
  
"I agree," Cordelia said stretching, "Where?"  
  
Giles rubbed his glasses.  
  
"Well I suppose that Cordelia and Angel could take my bed. I'll sleep on the floor. Then there's a pull out couch in the living room. Buffy…"  
  
Buffy shook her head, "I am going to work out some down here in the gym. I don't think I can sleep."  
  
Giles raised his eyebrow, but he didn't say anything. He knew better than to attempt to contradict Buffy.  
  
"I couldn't sleep anyways," Buffy said giving him a smile.  
  
"Want someone to kick your ass, Slayer?" Spike asked coming from one of the stacks.  
  
Buffy snorted, "You and what army?"  
  
Spike gave her his devilish grin, "Just me. That's all I'm going to need."  
  
Angel growled and Giles cleared his throat.  
  
"I think that you two should keep it to low key sparring," Giles pointed out, "I need both of you in top form."  
  
Spike looked at Buffy.  
  
"We'll do something relaxing," Spike said ginning.  
  
****  
  
"I think I could sleep now," Buffy said laying on the mat. The session had lasted an hour and both parties were sweaty and a bit worn.  
  
Spike was laying next to her. He groaned and pulled himself on to an elbow and looked at her. She moved her head and looked at him. Her neck was fully exposed to him. He could see the marks that he left on her. Her green eyes examined him.  
  
"We have never really talked about what happens when you get her back," Buffy said quietly.  
  
Spike examined her, he looked at her from head to toe.  
  
"She's been my companion for over a hundred years," Spike began. He saw Buffy's face fall. He decided to begin again, "We march in there tonight for different reasons. I started out just wanting to kill the little guy, now I have a reason for revenge."  
  
Spike watched as she pulled away emotionally. She looked at him bravely, "We will get her back."  
  
Spike watched her and suddenly he felt like he was dying. Not in the good way. He was dying and falling and miserable.  
  
"Buffy what are you doing to me?" he asked her, his voice raw, "I've flirted and I've fucked. I've never cared about anyone."  
  
She pulled herself so she was facing him she traced his face. There were smooth contours and sharp angles. She ran her finger over the planes and valleys.  
  
"I've been afraid all of my life that I wasn't good enough to love because they all leave, even though I wanted it to work so bad. Well they left in my world. Now I'm here and I'm scared that the one guy that I never gave half a chance will leave because I never really wanted it."  
  
Spike looked at her, he cupped her face.  
  
"Luv, you know you've never been rotten to me."  
  
"Yeah I have," Buffy said quietly, "I know that I don't deserve it, but I want a chance."  
  
Spike looked at her with caring and as if she was insane.  
  
"Slayer, this is crazy," Spike told her, his voice straining, "I live in the shadows. You live in the sunshine. After tomorrow what do we have in common."  
  
Buffy sat up and sat Indian style. She looked at him defiantly.  
  
"I've lived in the sunshine and I wasn't happy. Don't you go all 'normal life' on me."  
  
Spike pushed himself up, "I'm a vampire," he argued.  
  
"You're Spike," Buffy countered.  
  
He opened his mouth, but he couldn't think of anything to say to that. They just sat in a comfortable silence.  
  
"Have we met before," he asked playing with her fingers. It seemed wrong not to touch her. She was so warm.  
  
"Yeah, in my dreams," Buffy said watching his fingers trace the hills and valleys of her knuckles.  
  
"See that isn't it luv, I think it started before then. I have this dream where you're dancing. You have the Great Goofy Couple with you. I watch you from the shadows and I feel it. There's always recognition when I see you. Fighting isn't to do harm, it is a way to find synchronicity. You fight like me, I fight like you."  
  
"Dancing," Buffy whispered.  
  
Spike traced the bones in her hand. Buffy shivered involuntarily.  
  
Then he stopped.  
  
His eyes widened, "The recognition, every time I see you. It's not recognition. I'm in love with you every time I see you."  
  
Buffy began to shake. She should have known. He was always honest with her, well kind of.  
  
He got up and grabbed a towel. He began dabbing at his face. It was a useless gesture, but one that drew his attention from the fact that he was confused and turned on.  
  
"That is just it, you just keep fighting it. You use me and I'll always be beneath you. You never forget what I am."  
  
Buffy shook her head and walked over to him. She needed to touch him. They hadn't touched for thirty seconds, she couldn't stand the separation.  
  
She looked up at him, "I will never forget what you are. You are a total package. I love that package."  
  
Spike's face couldn't have looked more shocked if she had suddenly revealed that she was a man. He swallowed hard. Buffy was afraid that he swallowed his tongue.  
  
"Don't do what I did and get so wrapped up in the 'we can't' and 'we shouldn't'. There is a million reasons that we shouldn't be together. I can give you a list like you wouldn't believe, but we don't follow rules. Quit fighting me, it would all be really simple. Can you imagine what it would be like not to fight the internal battles of what the social norm. What would happen if we just let it happen."  
  
Her eyes were looking up at him, begging. Wanting him to believe that they could work out.  
  
Spike attempted to use his mouth, but nothing came out on the first few tries. He blinked repeatedly.  
  
"I…did…was that sayin' that you love me."  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
Spike smiled impishly, "Say it again."  
  
"What!" Buffy said laughing.  
  
Spike pulled her to him, "I've just never heard you say it."  
  
"I love you."  
  
Spike closed his eyes and tilted his head back, he smiled.  
  
He pulled her to him. He was not going to let go until he had made her his.  
  
Buffy held on just as tight to him.  
  
The world went on outside of the basement. People slept in the house, people went to work outside in the sun. The Anointed One sat smiling at Drusilla who thought he was the cutest thing.  
  
The intangible problems swirled around Sunnydale as they always did.  
  
For once Buffy didn't notice. She could only the coolness of the vampire above her. Her skin was flushed and she was too hot to notice anything but the wonderful sensations across her breasts and every sensitive point on her body.  
  
Spike was amazed at the warmth that his body emitted to his. Everything was felt so good for him, even the nails of her fingers digging into his biceps.  
  
There were no walls put up between them.  
  
It was the most pleasurable feeling that either had ever known.  
  
**** 


	19. Family Ties

Family Ties  
a/n: Sorry guys I have been caught up lately with some things. The last few chapters probably won't be out as quick as the others. Don't kill me, please - patience.  
PS If you need a regular dose of Amanda check out A Little Bit of Fate, with its sequel A Whole Lot of Luck. These will be out daily due to the fact that they're already written. Once again I'm sorry about the delays.  
  
  
  
Buffy walked up the stairs grinning. She went to the fridge. Spike slept soundly and shs was suddenly very hungry. She was humming softly.  
  
"Buffy Summers!" Dawn exclaimed emerging from the kitchen shadows.  
  
"You had sex," she accused.  
  
Buffy stood there for a few moments, wondering if she should feel guilty about being caught or happy that she had had mind numbing sex.  
  
*On Giles' training area. Let's go for guilty.*  
  
Dawn laughed, "You had sex with a vampire!" she squealed, "What was it like."  
  
"Just like human except more cold, and ewww Dawn, so not talking about this with you."  
  
Dawn held her head up and attempted to look more mature than she was.  
  
"Hey I am sleeping with a werewolf."  
  
"Dawn please, stop, you're killing me."  
  
Dawn dissolved into laugher again.  
  
***  
  
Angel heard the giggles downstairs and he figured it was time.  
  
He pulled himself away from Cordelia and stepped over a watcher. Very quietly he got himself downstairs.  
  
The girls in the kitchen didn't notice as he snuck by. He made his way down the stairs.  
  
He had a childe to check on, despite all of the promises that he had made to Buffy there was some things that he could not deny. It was his job to keep his childe in check.  
  
He had failed that job when Spike was out of control and leaving a wake of blood in his path. Then he hadn't approved of it, but he had held a bit of respect for the young chit who had wanted nothing more than to just be a vampire. Spike had embraced who he was so strongly it was almost cute, well if it had not been for the mobs that always sought them out when they realized who was responsible for the deaths.   
  
However Angelus knew his job as sire of this child. The enthusiasm that the boy had was always without any common sense.  
  
He had to check on his childe.  
  
****  
  
"I don't get it," Dawn said popping a Fruit Loop in her mouth, before pouring a bowl for herself.  
  
"What don't you get oh great junior Slayer, let me give you great advice as I am the elder and more mature Slayer," Buffy said swirling her spoon around in greatness.  
  
Dawn pretended to worship Buffy, "I would simply like to know why you are helping Spike."  
  
Buffy looked at her as if she was crazy, "Because it will help us kill the Anointed One."  
  
"Okay lets add a bit of reality to this nobility. You just had sex with Spike," Dawn paused, "Well I'm assuming that it is Spike," Dawn raised an eyebrow and Buffy just attempted to look as innocent as possible, "Okay we will just say hypothetically that you had sex with someone who was quite possibly Spike. I would like you to be reminded that this is the same vampire who has a girlfriend in the place that we are going to go attack come sunset. Now why are you so willing to help save her life."  
Buffy raised her head, "Because," Buffy bit her lip and proudly gave her answer, "Because he wants her back."  
  
Dawn shook her head, "Nope try again. I know you are noble to a fault. However you don't just go and rescue vampires. We kill them."  
  
"Thus sayith the girl whose watcher bound a vampire to her," Buffy mocked.  
  
"I'm serious Buffy. Your actions are so weird. I've seen you tell Spike that you will help him get Buffy back. This all happens about ten seconds after I see you do a flirting with the big ole vampire that makes me want to grab Oz and have a major session."  
  
Buffy shrugged and lost any attempt of lying, "I love him, Dawnie," Buffy said quietly, "I just want to make him happy. That is why I am going to do this. If I am the one responsible for her death then there will be something between us. Anyone else can kill the bitch, even Spike himself, but I will not kill her or allowed her to be killed. He'd never really be able to forgive me."  
  
Dawn's mouth opened.  
  
"You love him. That is well, weird."  
  
"Love does weird things to me," Buffy said swirling her cereal around.  
  
Dawn put down her spoon and turned to look at Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, what are you going to do tomorrow," Dawn pushed her hair behind her ears, "What happens when this is all over?"  
  
Buffy heard the words that Spike had said last night. There is so much that she couldn't answer. She could only listen to her heart.   
  
It was telling her to fight for this. She couldn't answer any questions, but she knew. She knew that her heart was leading her in this direction and she refused to fight it anymore.  
  
****  
  
"Wake up," Angel said kicking Spike.   
  
Spike rolled over and looked up at her. Spike was fairly naked. There really wasn't anyway of spinning this.  
  
"'ello Angelus, I thought we were under a truce."  
  
Angel growled, "Buffy simply said that we have to have a peace when she is around."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes and stood up, "Okay what is this? What is the choice that we have this time. You don't want to leave many bruises and you don't want to wear me out. How are you going to punish me this time."  
  
Angel put his hands on his hips.  
  
"Well you know Angelus that she never was yours. No mater what her memories say you two never did anything more than kiss. She isn't yours."  
  
"What about Dru?" Angel muttered.  
  
Spike shook his head, "I don't know. There is a connection between the Slayer and me. I don't know what it is. It bloody well hurts like hell. I spent so much of my time with Dru I don't know what to do now that I realized that I've always been in love with some one else."  
  
Angel didn't move, instead he clenched his jaw.  
  
"Oh wow," Spike said lightening, "This isn't about her or Dru." Spike grinned, " This is about the fact that you were in love with her forever."  
  
Spike began to laugh, "Oh my, you're a bloody nancy boy. You don't love her anymore. You have someone else, but part of you still is in love with you."  
  
Angel grabbed him by the scruff of the neck.  
  
Spike shook his head, "I'm not laughing at you, man. I'm laughing at us."  
  
Angel threw him to the ground.  
  
Spike looked up at him, "How did you do it? How do you realize that you love a girl, and you also are going against everything. You're the one who taught me the rules."  
  
Angel looked down at him, "I wouldn't know I ran."  
  
Spike pulled his knees towards his stomach, "So that is your advice, all I have to do is hang out in Sunnydale?" Fight the good fight and all of that."  
  
Angel looked down at him, "Could you do it? Could you?"  
  
"I've been kicked around by you. I have been bullied into being more and more bad ass. Now suddenly as I am about to become a traitor and kill an elder of my own line, you're saying that perhaps it would be best just to be a bad ass for the other side?"  
  
Angel sat down on the floor next to him.  
  
"Have we ever talked?" Angel asked.  
  
Spike shook his head, "Your method of talking usually has something to do with throwing me, punching me, or basically kicking the crap out of me."  
  
Angel shrugged, "You deserved it."  
  
"And now I don't deserve to get the crap beat out of me?"  
  
Angel glared at him. Underneath the look, Angel knew why he wasn't killing Spike. It wasn't about his soul which was sleeping up in Giles' room. It was because all of the intent that they could see beneath Spike's actions. With Dru it had always been a game. Not that there wasn't love between the two. It was just that the relationship was based on a power trip.  
  
Angel just let the silence roll on.  
  
Spike lit a cigarette and cracked his neck.  
  
"She came at me and all the sudden I don't know which way is up. In one week she has integrated herself in my life. I don't even know where she came from."  
  
Angel nodded.  
  
"Yeah she has the tendency to do that."  
  
*** 


	20. More Family Ties

OOPS: I'd really really really like to thank Rashaka, she's a great help and I didn't do her justice, but I'm trying. She was able to point out a few things that I will be working on for the last chapters. (Hopefully this feels right and continuous with my voice that I started out with.) Plus thanks to her helpful advice I am attempting to make the plot as clear as possible, without making you guys feel stupid.  
  
IN ADDITION: I thought I was going to have only three chapters to end this, but I want to do it all right. I've got the end, but I'm struggling with the middle parts. So I'm thinking that short little chapters will make you guys happy and remembering me, all the while giving me more time to work on making you guys proud. And making a kick ass ending.  
  
ALSO: I'm giddy as a school girl. I've never had anyone ask for my fic before (had one or two steal it, but that is something else) So here's a little plug. Check out Vampire's Kiss ( www.geocities.com/vampireskiss23 ). Thank you Mandi for making me feel all warm and tingly.  
  
  
  
  
  
****  
  
Buffy cracked her neck.  
  
"Are you all ready?" she asked Giles quietly.  
  
Giles nodded, "Oz and Xander are working on the Cavanaugh Street Lair. Dawn, Cordelia, and myself are going to the Eastham Lair. We should be able to hit them all before sunset. That will make your job easier. There will be no one coming at his beckoning."  
  
"Anointed One, possesses the will of demons?" Buffy asked, "I always wondered what he did."  
  
Giles nodded, "That is why Sunnydale is so overrun by the swarms of demons. We could have done this plan much earlier but there were two things keeping us back. We couldn't enter the Anointed One's Lair  
  
Buffy thought back to the half-baked plots she'd formed. It was only with Giles that she was able to come up with one that seemed completely undeniable.  
  
"Giles we make a good team," she smiled.  
  
Giles looked at her and began hesitantly, "Buffy that night, the one the master died in, I would have done it. I would have…"  
  
Buffy put her hand up, "I know. It wasn't yours to do."  
  
*I'm sixteen years old, I don't want to die.*  
  
Giles remembered her voice as she was told of her destiny. He hadn't wanted her to die at sixteen either. She had done it though as though.  
  
"I've always been proud of you," he said.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "Please, I know. You're English. You don't say these things."  
  
"Some times you have so say some things."  
  
Giles said stiffly.  
  
Buffy's lips turned upwards, "Giles what is it I said to you?"  
  
Buffy asked the question innocently as if she just had a mental block.  
  
*Tell him…well make up something cool and tell him I said it.*   
  
She had asked Jenny to make something up, she was just wondering what it was.  
  
Giles looked at her and shook his head. There was a faint ghost of a grin, "You saved the world for me, isn't that enough."  
  
Buffy nodded and impetuously kissed him.  
  
"I'll see you in a little bit when we save Sunnydale?" she asked.  
  
Giles looked at her, "That sounds good."  
  
Giles went to leave the room. At the door he turned.  
  
"Don't die this time. I've rather enjoyed having you here."  
  
Buffy smiled, "I'll see you soon Giles." 


	21. Spells and Gasoline

Spells and Gasoline  
  
  
"I don't see why I can't come with you," Oz said watching Dawn slide a stake into the sleeve of her shirt.  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes, "Because Oz we decided that a demon, a sick slayer and a watcher equaled a werewolf and Xander. We need to do this right. Personal feelings have nothing to do with the way that this is going to work. Do you think that Xander wouldn't rather be with Willow when this all goes down. We've done this before. We do what we have to."  
  
"I just want to be there if you need me," Oz said quietly.  
  
Dawn looked at him intently.  
  
"I know, but I'll be fine, baby. We're just burning things down. It doesn't involve much combat. I'll be fine. Giles will protect me."  
  
Oz came up behind her and snuggled her into his shoulder.  
  
"I just worry."  
  
Dawn closed her eyes and let herself feel the protection of her boyfriend. She was safe right now. She inhaled the faith that she had to have in the situation.  
  
"Oz," Xander yelled, "Time to hop on the fire train."  
  
Oz kissed her temple, "Be safe."  
  
Dawn smiled, "I'll see you soon."  
  
Oz left the room and Dawn's smile faded. She knew that there was a very good chance that she had just completely lied to him.  
  
She pulled a pendant out of her top drawer and put it around her neck. It had a huge star ruby on it. The necklace was for purifying the blood of the sick. It was a dangerous stone. It had the effect of caffeine. It could draw from a person's own energy and amplify it. However it had the down side of amphetamines. It could draw too much and put a person in a state of exhaustion where they didn't even know that they were exhausted.  
  
Dawn had calculated that she could use this for three hours. She could be the Slayer for three hours.   
  
Dawn touched the red stone around her neck and said the incantation. The stone glowed brightly and the red was echoed in Dawn's eyes.  
  
She would do what was needed to get done. She would kill vampires. She hoped that Buffy would be able to do her job.  
  
If she didn't Dawn would be dead in three hours.  
  
*******  
  
"I get to do arson," Xander sang as he poured gasoline over the wood structure.  
  
It was exactly forty minutes until sunset. There was still plenty of direct sunlight to cover them.  
  
"I think that the element of surprise would best be served without the music," Oz intoned.  
  
Xander sighed a sigh of resignation.  
  
"Sorry, it's just that since Buffy got back there is more fun again. No more simple vampires."  
  
Oz picked up a new container of gas.  
  
"I can see how you're excited," Oz monotoned.  
  
Xander did a twirling pour, "No witches on the horizon except Willow, which is pretty neat, but there is definitely fun stuff in the fact that we get to do arson and breaking and entering. It's so cool."  
  
"Slaying is definitely mundane," Oz agreed.  
  
The pair continued in semi-silence with only Xander humming a happy tune. They were almost done when Xander caught sight of something in the shadows.  
  
"Oz," Xander said seriously, "There is something over there."  
  
Oz began to slip into wolf mode, "I kill you burn."  
  
With that the Oz-wolf slipped away.  
  
Xander began to whistle again. He picked up a box of matches and began to light them one by one. Each match was dropped into the golden liquid and sent blue flames to the wood. The factory began to burn. Xander watched in satisfaction, waiting for escaping vampires that would try to skulk off.  
  
****  
  
Half a town away Cordelia pressed a button. The steel frame bent in and the silo fell down upon the frame. It was a little more dangerous. The collapsing of the building would bring out more vampires. However Giles had a sort of mini flame thrower that Xander had made. It was an inferno.  
  
Dawn smiled as the first of the vampires came out into the last rays of sunlight. Most of them were instantly dusted. There were a few that could think somewhat coherently and kept to the shadows. Dawn ran after those. She felt alive for a bit.   
  
She had the ruby for a long time. She didn't want to use it because she knew it would kill her. She had a chance now and she used it for all it was worth.   
  
Every breath felt so fulfilling and every move was done with a smooth motion, her muscles singing.  
  
Dawn loved it. She was alive.  
  
****  
  
Buffy, Spike, and Angel rested on the edge of the cave that would lead them to the depths of the earth, to where the child lay.  
  
Spike and Angel were in the shadows. Spike leaned against a wall his blonde at an angle, one leg against a wall. Angel was crouched on his haunches. Both were dressed in black and in leather. Both of them were perfectly still. Not even their hair moved. The only thing that moved on either of them was their leather dusters. Short for Angel, longer for Spike.  
  
Willow and Buffy had a few minutes. They were both looking at the vampires who were looking off into space.  
  
Buffy couldn't help but compare the completely off the runway look of these two with the commando gear that Riley wore. It was a big change from her ex. She liked how neither one of them thought about changing clothes for the job they had to do. They didn't put on any kind of uniform. She had always subscribed to the theory that anything that she wore during the day or clubbing she could wear on patrol. She never really got Riley's penchant for stalker wear. Much like her fought the same in leather and jackets as they did in lightweight Kevlar. This wasn't a job for them it was simply life. It wasn't pretty and it was regulated to the shadows, but it was their life. Buffy knew the distinction.  
  
Willow had a grin on her face. Her thoughts were much simpler.  
  
*Buffy could have done a lot worse.*  
  
Then they saw it. Two towers of smoke. One from the silo and one from the factory.  
  
"Your turn," Buffy said to Willow just as the sun set. Timing was going perfectly.  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
Spike and Angel joined them outside. There was no fear of direct sunlight anymore. Willow surrounded them all by salt and she chanted. After a few minutes it was time.  
  
"We'll be undetectable until we reach the barrier," Willow said confidently.  
  
"We're in stealth mode," Buffy nodded.  
  
Angel and Spike slipped into game face and the quartet entered the caves.  
  
  
  
****  
  
For some reason I like how this chapter came out. What do you think? 


	22. Walking Down That Long Long Tunnel

"Wow she's good," Cordelia said looking at Dawn sparring with many vampires.  
  
Giles examined her. He realized there was something wrong. He hadn't seen Dawn fight this well since she had gotten sick. He suddenly felt a sense of dread.  
  
"What have you done Dawn," he whispered.  
  
****  
  
The spell that Willow had done guarded them against detection. The Anointed One couldn't feel two of his order approaching or the beat of the hearts of the pair of humans. The spell kept their footsteps and voices numbed to the ears of even the most perceptive of vampires.  
  
There really was no need to hide until they reached the barrier that divided the human world from the vampire. The shield that no human could cross.   
  
However they had figured out how to get a witch and a Slayer across.  
  
They walked with purposeful steps. There was no need to hurry they would reach their destination in due time. Four footsteps soundlessly echoed through the caverns of the Anointed One.  
  
They all looked straight ahead. Angel, Willow, Buffy, Spike. They walked with only clothing moving to their powerful steps.  
  
****  
  
"Fe, fi, fo fum," said a vampire approaching Xander.  
  
Xander paused in mid-strike and wrinkled his brow at the vampire, "Is that supposed to put some kind of fear in me?" Xander asked with a shake of his head.  
  
"I'm gonna grind your bones to make my bread," the vampire growled.  
  
Xander laughed, "I'm not five. Not scary."  
  
The vampire looked befuddled, then he turned to dust.  
  
"The fairy tales haven't scared me since I realized there were real live worse things in the world," Xander said standing over the dust.  
  
"That was a very touching moment," Oz growled, as he fought off two vampires, "However we are here to keep the vampires from going back to the Anointed One's lair."  
  
"Back to mundaney things," Xander muttered as he threw himself at two fledglings that were trying to escape while still on fire.  
  
****  
  
"Look what we have here," smiled Spike holding up a minion who just happened to be in the caves.  
  
"Don't kill him," Willow yelled.  
  
"What? Isn't that against the rules? We're good we kill bad," Spike asked running a tounge over his fangs. This was half in jest. He really didn't know which side he was on, he had resigned himself into believing that he was on his own side and that is all he needed to be.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "If you kill him then you will alert the Annoying One to our presence."  
  
The spell did something funny to their new found foe. They spell blocked all noises that they made. Including vocal. Only the people who had been inside of the circle knew what the others were saying.  
  
The frightened vamp looked at the people speaking without any sound as if they were crazy. The poor creature had no idea what was going on, but whatever it was it was scaring the shit out of him. He was only a simple minion, before that he had been a simple jock. Whatever was happening was beyond his grasp.  
  
"Quit playing," Angel commanded.  
  
Spike shook his head in disgust, but he complied. He cleanly broke the neck of the minion.  
  
When he looked up he saw Buffy looking at him with anger in her eyes.  
  
He shrugged, "Well it worked. He isn't dead and he won't be a bother."  
  
Buffy didn't say anything she just turned on her heals. Willow followed her. Angel and Spike exchanged an understanding glance, but said nothing they followed the girls deeper into the caverns.  
  
****  
  
"Well I just feel useless," Cordelia said examining her nails, "I should have brought a nail file."  
  
Giles watched Dawn. He had killed two via crossbow, but Dawn had been on a mission. She had killed nine in fifteen minutes. She was definitely on something.  
  
"Keep an eye out," Giles said seriously.  
  
Cordelia shrugged towards the action, "Why? Dawn has gotten them all."  
  
"Cordelia, watch," Giles said through clenched teeth. He didn't know what was powering Dawn. All he knew was that when she went down under the weight of her own body he would be there to protect her he would not allow another Slayer to die as long as he could prevent it.  
  
"Touchy much," Cordelia said under her breath, but she watched alertly.  
  
The young Slayer was unstoppable.  
  
****  
  
They came upon the barrier.  
  
Willow suddenly looked scared, "I can't do this."  
  
Spike and Angel looked at each other and nodded. They walked on and left Buffy to face a nervous Willow.  
  
"Will, I know that you can do this," Buffy said looking at her, "You have so much power at your finger tips. You just need to access it."  
  
Willow bit her lip nervously, "I don't know, I've barely done any kind of magic."  
  
Buffy smiled and shook her head, "I know you can do this. You have it in you."  
  
"You think I can do such strong magic?" Willow asked sacredly.  
  
Buffy cupped her face so Willow met her eyes.  
  
Buffy knew that Willow had learned magic to help her. Willow had stood by Giles' side with potions. Willow had opened herself up to the strong magicks of the world because Buffy was devastated over the loss of Angel's soul. Willow had continued because at one time or the other Buffy had needed her.   
Buffy knew that she could do this for the same reason.  
  
"You can do this. You will do this. Do you know why?"  
  
Willow shook her head.  
  
"Because I need you to."  
  
Willow looked into her eyes and gathered her strength. Then the red head looked at the air in front of them that was keeping her away from the goal. She said the incantation and raised her hand.  
  
The air rippled blue, then was zapped away.  
  
Willow smiled, "I did it."  
  
Buffy cracked her neck, "Lets go boys. Time to go hunting."  
  
****  
  
The Anointed One leaned back, he could feel them. He knew what they had done.   
  
He was expecting it.  
  
"Kill them all, I'll make more. You're going to die at my hands Slayer," the child intoned gently petting the dark hair of the woman curled up next to him. 


	23. Stalking

******  
Stalking  
******  
  
a/n: Sorry for taking so long. Writer's Block. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't hate me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The vampires came out in full force. Spike, Buffy, and Angel formed a semi circle around Willow and began to trounce the fledglings that were approaching. The trio had never really worked on the same side before with all of the members knowing each other was there, in anyone's memories.  
  
It was no great shock that Willow was in awe. They were excellent.  
  
Spike was looked at the hero praise in her eyes as he was staking the minion that had called him a few weeks earlier. The vampire faltered for a moment. He looked at his Sire and the Slayer. His eyes widened.  
  
*I'm a bloody ponce* he thought angrily. *What am I doing here. I don't have a soul. Why? I don't kill my own kind.*  
  
He finished off the minion, the little bugger thought he was above his station.  
  
He looked over at the girl he was fighting besides. She smiled.   
  
At that moment he thought that he had a simple choice.  
  
He had no idea what choice actually was. The Powers That Be don't give choices that are that simple.  
  
****  
  
Xander looked at the scene unfolding before him. There were many vampires running from the inferno that the pair of them couldn't defeat. Staking was taking to long.  
  
"Fire," Xander yelled attempting to put his plan with action.  
  
"I noticed," Oz growled.  
  
"No," Xander yelled pushing a vampire closer to the building.  
  
"Stop girly fighting," Oz yelled.  
  
"Push. Vampires. Into. Fire." Xander panted.  
  
Oz thought for a second. Then he realized what to do. He flipped a vampire into the smoldering of the fire. The vamp went up in flames and came down in ashes.  
  
"Good plan," Oz intoned.  
  
****  
  
Dawn had killed them all. She sat panting on the ground.  
  
"Dawn how do you feel?" Giles asked her.  
  
Dawn looked up. She could feel the energy coursing through her veins.  
  
"Alive," Dawn said and she slipped into a deep sleep.  
  
****  
  
"Hello, I've been waiting," smiled the child.  
  
They saw him and it was time to strike. However all of them hesitated. They all just stood and looked to the child stupidly as if their eyes couldn't decide what to make of the scene.  
  
Curled around the Anointed One was Dru.  
  
Next to Spike was Buffy.  
  
This is how the Powers define choice.  
  
*****  
  
Spike looked at Dru. The vampiress smiled at him and waved.  
  
"Spike, you've come home to me," Drusilla said leaning back to rest her head on the shoulder of the child.  
  
"Dru," Spike said trying to sound normal, "I'm here to take you home."  
  
Drusilla giggled, "I am home," she lifted her arms up to him, "You're here my love."  
  
Spike's muscles coiled.  
  
"C'mon luv, we don't need this. Let's go to Prague or New Orleans."  
  
Dru reached up and lazily played with the Anointed One's hair.   
  
"I want to stay here. Its so nice."  
  
"Dru, you belong with me."  
  
Dru growled at him, "You're dancing with the executioner. I don't want to play with you anymore. You don't just look at me. You see her too. Your head is to crowded to love Princess."  
  
Spike tried to smile reassuringly, "You're wrong.  
  
"You see, Dru," the child cooed in her ears, "He doesn't love you anymore. His heart is too tainted to love just you. He loves her. He's next to her and he doesn't kill her."  
  
Buffy attempted to open her mouth, but Spike held up a hand.  
  
"Little thing I will kill you for her."  
  
Spike lunged, but it was Angel who held him fast.   
  
"Let go of me you greasy hair Poofter."  
  
"Look," Angel growled.  
  
The Anointed One held a stake fast at Drusilla's heart.  
  
The child looked at Spike and Angel.  
  
"My traitorous family. You choose. You kill the Slayer or I kill your pathetic vampire toy."  
  
Drusilla laughed and ran her finger across the steak. When she pricked her finger on the stake.  
  
Drusilla took a black and white tipped finger into her mouth.  
  
"Yummy."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
PS - Only two more! Guys just so you know this ain't gonna be happy. Please keep reading and reviewing anyway. It will be good. 


	24. Fighting In The Fray

****************  
Fighting In the Fray  
****************  
  
Buffy saw the confusion in the eyes of her vampire companions. He was their family, he was threatening a creature which was kind of important to both of them. This was Angel's disgrace. She was a creature that he had made insane. Angel would never kill her, he felt too responsible. Forever his soul would torment him the most about her. This was Spike's companion of over a hundred years. They had been together through more than Buffy could imagine.  
  
It was a tough spot.   
  
Buffy bit her lip. She was going to hate herself for doing this. She was going to hate herself for once again following her heart. However she knew what she had to do. She would rather die than to stand before someone she loved and see all that love disappear. She had seen it happen too many times. She had seen those that she loved turn away and tell her that it wasn't going to work. She had endured love broken too many times. That was hard enough to endure.  
  
It wasn't her past loves that helped her make the decision. It was something even more painful. She remembered the way that Parker had looked at her in her dreams. That look of disgust on the face that once had cherished her was the reason that she did what she now did.  
  
She couldn't bear for another man to hate her. Brooding over a lost love was the definitely the lesser of two evils.  
  
She touched Willow's arm and had her send a message.  
  
Buffy the Vampire Slayer would save Drusilla because of one thing.   
  
Because she loved a vampire.  
  
****  
  
Spike looked at her from the corners of her eyes. Angel looked at her in open shock. They heard the message that Willow inserted into their heads.  
  
Buffy nodded almost invisibly and the fray began.  
  
****  
  
Fighting isn't as easy as it can seem. It is confusing and even the most skilled have trouble knowing where everything is coming from.   
  
Three lone fighters were together linked by Willow, hoping to overcome the Anointed One's spell on vampires. On a whole this was dangerous.  
  
In the pieces it was confusing.  
  
****  
  
Willow stood back, watching all of the action. She had quickly learned how to link them. It was a tough, spell but she could get them feel each other.  
  
****  
  
Angel and Spike were fighting the onslaught of vampires that were emerging to protect their master. Buffy attempted to sneak towards Drusilla.  
  
The Anointed One stood in her way.  
  
Buffy looked at him.  
  
He cocked his head, "You are protecting the vampires."  
  
His voice was toneless.   
  
"You know you are not supposed to be here, you are wrong."  
  
Buffy pulled out a stake, "Oh well. I haven't heard that before. It doesn't really work, I think I'll stake you now."  
  
"I'm so scared."  
  
The child reached out a hand and Buffy was motionless.  
  
"You can't defeat me."  
  
Buffy closed her eyes and felt Willow's presence wash over her.  
  
"I can't. But we can."  
  
Buffy reached out and lunged for the child.  
  
She was stopped by Drusilla. Dru reached out and began to fight Buffy with an agility that Buffy had seen in the vampiress. It was strange. The Anointed One watched her.   
  
Then Buffy realized that Drusilla was only half there. Half of the half that she was ever really acting on a aware level. Now she was only the vessel of the Anointed One.  
  
This made Drusilla the perfect fighter.  
  
Buffy was able to match her for a short time, but soon she was over powered. Drusilla knocked her against a far wall. Buffy was knocked unconscious.  
  
Her fall drew the attention from both vampires. All the sudden they were overcome by rage. They were so full of agony that Willow had to fight to hold on to them. If she lost contact with them they would be open to the Anointed One's power.  
  
Then a vampire came up behind her. Willow had to fight. As she fought she lost her focus.  
  
Drusilla looked away from the fallen form of Buffy and she looked at her sire and her lover.  
  
"Goody," she said happily as the pair gazed at her with anger.  
  
****  
  
Both vampires slipped away from Willow's grasp. They were both fueled with too much emotion to hold the tenuous connection.  
  
Willow felt them slip away from her grasp. They suddenly turned on each other. They circled each other. Both were looking at each other in game face.  
  
*Buffy!* Willow screamed injecting her with all the power she could. She turned and staked the vampire in back of her and then turned back to focusing on Buffy. The vampires were lost to her now. She couldn't shield them from the power of the Anointed One. She needed Buffy now.  
  
Buffy opened her eyes. She was blocked by a vampire. She was so confused. She didn't know what was going on.  
  
Buffy did a roundhouse kick and knocked the vampire in her way away. She saw the scene of the two men circling each other, waiting to kill each other.   
  
Buffy hesitated and the vampire she had just kicked came upon her and grabbed her. She struggled in his twisted embrace.  
  
"I am choosy about who I let touch me," Buffy muttered as she struggled. She couldn't escape though. The mind control that the Anointed One put on these demons was strong.  
  
The first vampire was joined by another and they held her fast. The Anointed One came up to her and caressed her face.  
  
"No darling, you aren't."  
  
Buffy shuddered. This child had seen her naked body. This child had a vampire sexuality buried within an innocent face. It made Buffy sick.  
  
"I brought you into hell. You took my hand. Then you let the master touch you. You let him drink from you. Your body now doesn't bear the mark, but you are my father's."  
  
The child motioned towards the figures of Spike and Angel. The pair were exchanging blows that shook the earth surrounding them.  
  
"Those children don't matter. I am the last childe of the Master."  
  
Buffy was immobile in the grasp of the two vampires.  
  
She rolled her eyes, "Please, now do you say that you are going to make me your queen."  
  
The almond eyes studied her, "Of course not. I've got a beautiful dark Queen."  
  
Drusilla came up behind him and purred in his ear. The vampiress didn't seem to notice that this was not only illegal, but highly wrong. He was a baby. However she licked his ear seductively.  
  
Then the child did something that completely turned Buffy's stomach.  
  
He vamped out.  
  
Buffy screamed.  
  
****  
  
Spike looked up. One of his eyes was swollen. He could still taste the way that he hated Angel. The way that he just wanted to kill the wanker. All those years of standing next to the stupid bint, being hurt and dominated. He just wanted to hurt him in return. To make him feel what it was like to be at the whim of another.  
  
However the scream drew his attention. It broke him from the fog.  
  
Angel however was under the spell. Angel approached Spike and held him tight. Spike realized that there was no way that he could escape on his own.  
  
"Red," Spike growled, "Mojo him."  
  
The witch had been watching the scene unfolding with horror. She was at a loss at what she should begin to try to do. She had lost them all.  
  
Willow nodded, feeling very scared. However this is the bit of hope that she needed. She closed her eyes and centered herself. She began to chant.  
  
Spike fought his way from Angel, but Angel was still intent on the battle.  
  
Spike saw the child lean in to the neck of his Slayer. He saw the fangs and suddenly nothing else mattered. There was something primal in him. He wasn't human. His instincts were something stronger. Adrenaline was nothing compared to this animal answering the call of nature. There was something fueling him that was raw and pure.  
  
This was the woman who bore the marks of a claim. This was a creature who made him feel.  
  
"Mine," Spike growled and thrust himself at the child.  
  
****  
  
Pandemonium turned to chaos.  
  
Spike wrestled with a the child. A stake came out from the folds of his leather.  
  
****  
  
"You missed the heart!" Buffy screamed as the two vampires approached her again, ready to offer her to the child again. He was still alive.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, "I'm so sorry. I am so used to staking children."  
  
They both knew that Spike was distracted. The child had power over him.  
  
****  
  
Then Willow joined their minds in a flash of gold.   
  
They were together, they were whole. They had all of the strength that each individual had within themselves.  
  
They didn't know which one of them moved, they all were in control.  
  
***  
  
The child was grabbed and there was no defense. His minions were unable to help him in any way. They were kept away from the other two vessels.  
  
The child was thrown against a wall like a rag doll.  
  
A stake came out.  
  
At the same time Drusilla came up behind that unit.  
  
The child looked at her, bade her to hurry.  
  
She looked up in anger at the figure in front of her. It was pure rage.  
  
At the same second that the Anointed One felt a stake enter his heart another heart was pierced. 


	25. Saturday

*******  
Saturday  
*******  
  
  
Dawn drew in a deep breath. Oz and Xander arrived on the scene right as Dawn sat right up. She felt it. She felt the life returning to her limbs. Cordelia ran her hand along her head.  
  
"Dawn?" Oz said hopefully coming to her side.  
  
Dawn looked up at him with wide eyes. She then looked down at the stone. It was splintered. It was broken now, but Dawn felt like she had for the past few hours. She felt like a slayer again. Pure untainted blood was pulsing through her veins. She was healing, the slayer healing was returning. Fixing her.   
  
She could feel it. She knew.  
  
She was alive, but at what price.  
  
*****  
  
"You bitch!" Angel growled holding Drusilla up by her throat.  
  
She looked at him and pouted, "You love him best!" she accused, "You always have. You spent all the time making him into who he is. You made him all bloody and you'd lap the blood off of his chest and then let him drink from your wrist."  
  
Dru smiled at the thought. It was the most generous of things for a Sire to do to his child. Then she turned back to him glaring.  
  
"Then you would do all the wonderful things to him. He'd cry out so prettily. You never did such nice things to me."  
  
Angel looked at the pitiful thing he had made. She was twisted and deformed, but she was right. She would never be as beautiful as his William. She was right. She was not his favorite. He had done what he had thought best, he had pushed Spike to be the most outrageous vampire ever. He had made the scared little poet into a bloody killer. Part of Angelus would always be proud of him. She was different. She was broken he had made her this way. He looked at her sadly.   
  
"You love him best," she sneered. It was mostly the Anointed One's remaining influence making her this way, but she was fickle under the attentions of her Sire. That is where most of her emotions lay.  
  
Angel reached behind him. He didn't feel the guilt of his soul, nor did he feel the demand of Angelus. He was simply angry. It was his job to punish those who hurt his own.  
  
"You're right," Angel said, deadly soft, "I do love him best."  
  
Drusilla's particles fell to the ground.  
  
Angel looked at his fallen Childe. Buffy was at his side crying. Willow's eyes were dark. Her eyes faded and she looked up at Angel and shook her head.  
  
"Its lodged right next to his heart," Willow whispered. She knew that Spike and Buffy could hear her, but it seemed more appropriate to pretend to tell Angel discretely.  
  
"Can you get it out?" Buffy asked weakly.  
  
Willow shook her head, "I've never really studied how to protect a heart. Saving a vampire is not really something I ever planned to do."  
  
Buffy's heart sank. She knew that her Willow could do this on instinct. However it would take a lot of concentration and a bit of practice with magics. This Willow had only begun to find her power, she was still new at the whole concept of magical manipulation. This Willow couldn't do much more than bend spoons, never mind skin a person alive.  
  
In many ways Buffy was happy with this idea. This Willow wasn't about to end the world. The cost was only the life of the creature before her.  
  
Buffy looked at Spike her eyes wide. He looked at her. He knew. He didn't say anything, he didn't dare move. In his mind this was his last moment to look at her, he wanted to look as long as he possibly could. He wanted to drink in the sight of her creamy skin and green eyes. The image of her would have to sustain him through the eternity of hell that he was doomed to. He wanted nothing more than to watch her until the pain was too much to bear.  
  
"Willow please," Buffy begged.  
  
Willow shook her head and held up her hands, "I don't know. I don't know how to fix him."  
  
The admission made her feel weak. It was almost more than she could bear.  
  
Buffy's eyes began to tear.  
  
"There's got to be something that we can do," Buffy looked up wildly at Angel begging him to help her.  
  
Angel shook his head and Buffy's heart fell.  
  
"I'm sorry," Willow whispered.  
  
Angel took her by the shoulders and gently pulled her away. Angel looked down at his child.  
  
Spike didn't move a muscle, but he moved his eyes up at Angel.   
  
Those eyes were saying, 'Don't you even dare to turn into a Nancy boy now.'  
  
Angel smiled, "Good-bye William."  
  
With that whisper he took Willow away. The rest of the Scooby gang had gathered. They all watched the pair. Angel motioned for them to stay back.   
  
Buffy looked down at Spike.  
  
She didn't dare touch him. She just let the heat emanate off her body into his.  
  
"Its Saturday, don't you have something to do?"  
  
He barely moved his lips. He was trying not to move. In their recently bonded state she could feel the agony that he was in. she could feel that he was in so much pain.  
  
"Whistler! Was this all you sent me back for!" she yelled, "I was only here to fall in love and have to kill someone I love again."  
  
There was no answer.  
  
"Buffy, luv, please," Spike said through clenched teeth.  
  
He was in so much pain. He was in agony. She couldn't watch him any more.  
  
Buffy had nothing else that she could do. Tears blinded her.  
  
She kissed him, her nose nuzzling the contours of his cheekbones. He felt the salty tears as she caressed his cold skin one last time.  
  
He suddenly felt happiness. He felt alright with ending this life. This is what it was to exist, to stand on the precipice of this life and the next and feel the care of someone else. This woman knew of his past and of his actions. She knew he wasn't really anything that was admirable, but she loved him anyways. She looked at him and saw someone that was worth cherishing.  
  
She knew of his lack of soul and she loved him. That moved him beyond words.  
  
Which was fortunate because any heartfelt words would dust him instantaneously.  
  
Buffy pulled away and looked into his eyes. She knew.  
  
Buffy couldn't speak through her tears, but that was enough. He knew. He knew that she was under no delusions. She loved the monster, she loved him.  
  
"I love you," he said to her and she pushed the stake into his heart.  
  
His words lasted longer than his form. Buffy learned down and cried in the ashes of her lover.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Final Author's Note:  
  
Well this is done. I just want to say thank you so much. The reviews have been wonderful. I hope that you have enjoyed this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please review and tell me what you think of this as a whole. I can take bad. For those who are similar to me, romantics, then there is an epilogue which is a bit of fluff which makes things a little better. Don't expect the white picket fence, soul, or baby.   
  
Did I say thank you to everyone who reviewed and encouraged. It makes me happy (Do it one last time!!!)   
  
PS - Want a preview of the next fic? E-mail me at AmandaLord@lycos.com and I will send you the first chapter preview. It will be a week or so before I get it up…I need a fricken break. 


	26. A Little Addition, Just Something Else R...

*******  
Epilogue  
*******  
  
Whistler was in a room with no walls. It was white and gray. In the middle was a podium. He looked down at the podium where he could see Spike pacing in the waiting room that he met Buffy in, just a week ago.  
  
"What are we supposed to do with him," Whistler asked.  
  
*He wasn't supposed to fall in love.*  
  
"Well he did."  
  
*Love is not worthy enough. He is soulless.*  
  
"He did as he was supposed to, he did exactly what was asked of him. You can't just use him and turn your back on him."  
  
*We do not take your commands. You are our vessel.*  
  
Whistler watched Spike pace more and more.  
  
"He will be miserable in hell. He will be miserable without her." Whistler pointed out.   
  
The voice was silent awhile.  
  
"He has loved."  
  
*He has hated!*  
  
"He saved two slayers."  
  
*He killed two.*  
  
The voice was harsh.  
  
"Look," Whistler said intensely, "I'm not asking that he gets heaven, he is a vampire. Just let her dream with him."  
  
The silence returned. Whistler could hear the buzzing, but there was no answer. No positive, no negative.  
  
Then the voice came back determined.  
  
*We need to debate. For now we will grant your request.*  
  
Whistler smiled down at the leather clad figure.   
  
"You will pace for awhile, but you will get her. You'll never thank me, but you're welcome." 


End file.
